zzyzx road

I came back from Vegas today after sitting in a car ride that lasted forever *sigh*. I'm at a state where I'm tired but not tired enough to go to sleep. I hate it when that happens. Anyways. Vegas was fun. Though I don't think I have ever wished I was 21 so badly until then. I didn't take as many pictures as I wanted to because I realized my camera was running out of batteries and I forgot to bring my chargerback from Berkeley. Fail.

I spent most of my time in the car playing pokemon red (I think thats what its name was) on my old gameboy color. Actually, I kind of took it from my sister because I started to get bored from looking out the window and what was initially a matter of helping my sister level up her pokemon turned to be a three hour journey through Kanto. :D I also realized that after 10 years, my gameboy color is still running as well as it did when I bought it from my earnings of completing worksheets that my mom assigned in elementary school.

I also have a new found addiction/love to Orbit strawberry mint through out the car ride.

I don't think the Berkeley dining shops have this gum, either that or I just haven't noticed it. But ITS SO GOOD!

There were a lot of amazing stores and attractions in Vegas. It really made me wish I had a lot of money to splurge on (and that, once again, I was 21).

I went to the Bodies exhibit in the Luxor casino and it was AWESOME. It consisted of an exhibit of all the body systems shown through various parts of cadavers. My sister got kind of freaked out halfway but I thought it was really cool that I completely understood the descriptions in the displays because of Anatomy and Bio lab. It also made me sad that I didn't take anatomy class as seriously as I should have and once again, makes me wish that Professor Diamond was teaching....

There were also a lot of expensive restaurants, like this one french restaurant that contains a sample menu of $300. Then again, the restaurant contains three michelin stars.

Yay Fleur De Lys at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas! Hubert Keller ftw. <3

Believe it or not,the food above cost $20. Such a rip off. It was this Asian mall food restaurant (for the lack of better words) at the food court in MGM that had this really pretty display where you get to choose the vegetables and meat that you want. I picked Flank steak + shrimp with a bunch of different veggies. The people then combine it together in a wok and out comes '$20 worth of food'. My dad paid for it because he saw me staring at the place because I wanted to see if it was actually legit or not. ><; My dad then went off on how I could easily cook the same dish and now wants me to cook dinner with 3 dishes+ soup starting on wednesday. -_-

I walked around a couple stores and managed to get a pair of shorts and gloves from Nike. Very exciting. Most of the other stores I walked around were very high class and couldn't really afford to buy anything there. I ALSO FOUND MY BELOVED/EXPENSIVE TRENCHCOAT AT METROPARK <3<3.

The secret of success at Cal:

I found it at Urban Outfitters in Mandalay Bay. When I opened it, I chuckled so loudly that I

think the guy next to me was looking at me weirdly. -_-

There were also very cute lion cubs at MGM grand. <3.>

I think I might be getting sick. While I was sitting in the car coming back to SF, I started to get a sore throat and now my nose is getting runny =(.

I also plan on stopping by the gym at YMCA today because of this awesome deal that they have for college students. wootz.

How fun =)

Woke up relatively early today because the sun was shining into the room really brightly. =|. Had a pineapple bun and watched a little bit of the christmas parade until I found out that there was a Dogs101 marathon! WOOOOOOOOO! :D :D. Too bad there wasn't any cats101. =(

Then went to one of the many Asian malls and satisfied my sushi craving. Then walked around this asian supermarket, which I believe is the cleanest one I have EVER been into. It was amazing. Perhaps it was because most of the people working at that place weren't canto and spoke mandarin. Who knows.

Went back to Godparent's house and played a little bit of ps3. Then my parents decided to watch some hk gangster movie, which I fell asleep in (Not good enough for me. haha jk). Some people came over and then I helped my sister out with her homework.

The dinner was REALLY yummy. It consisted of Smoked salmon (YUM), bacon wrapped scallops, potato scallops, tri tip (YUM), law mai rice. yumyumyum. Afterwards, we made mini gingerbread cookies. At first mine was really ugly because I put a LOT of frosting on it and then it turned it pretty good.

Before

After! YAY!

The cheesecake I made turned out to be really good. Everybody loved it ^^.

Also took a shot in front of my parents with the rest of the adults. Very interesting experience.

The shot was really good though. Smirinoff Vanilla Vodka+ Frangelico Hazelnut liqueur . I had it with lemon covered in sugar. Really yummy.

My parents were concerned that I was going to get drunk or SUPER red off of it. Oh parents. :) It's quite interesting because according to my dad, he can't really tolerate wine or else he'll get extremely red. I guess I got lucky in terms of my genes. kekeke.

I think this has been one of my favorite christmas' so far. =) It's kind of rare for our family to be spending christmas with a group of friends not to mention to have a massive feast. yayy

Have a safe trip bao bei. No mosquito bites please and remember to bring back what I requested <3

Merry Christmas!

Today I woke up relative early. Went downstairs to each kimchi ramen with ham and egg.

yumyum!

Then went to Hollywood! wee!

The shops at Hollywood were so amazing and HUGE! I found this shirt at H&M for 10 dollars.

I decided to get it. I also went into Guess and got two long sleeved shirts. Ah I love Guess.

We then went to Santa Monica to walk around the boardwalk. We were hungry around that time so we went to Bubba Gumps. bwhaha. I love that place. During the summer of Junior year in high school, I was pretty obsessed with Bubba Gumps. We ate lots of shrimp. YUMYUM ^^

Afterwards, we went back to my Godparent's house and had hot pot and I started to make cheesecake. I hope it turns out well. While waiting for it to bake, we decided to watch ipman. hehehehe. Phil says I'm obsessed with that movie but I don't believe thats the case. I just find ipman to be an awesome movie. lulz It's so pro-cantonese, which I approve.

YEAH. HK FOR THE WIN.

Too much traffic @_@...

Seriously. How do you SoCal people deal with the traffic?!

Anyways. I woke up super early today to get ready for the drive down to Socal. We ended up not leaving until 9 or so because my mom tends to take her time when it comes to getting ready to leave. *sigh*. It's pretty annoying actually. I don't really know how my dad manages to have the patience. (Another note to future self: Don't take all the freaking time putting make up and doing whatever just for a 6-7 hour car ride....>_>)

Pretty much the whole day consisted of sitting in a car. I guess it wasn't too bad in the beginning because it brought back all the times we used to go traveling by car but as we passed grapevine, traffic was TERRIBLE. GAH. It was the worst I had ever seen. AND THERE WERE NO

ACCIDENTS! SHEESH! It was three when we passed through grapevine and we didn't get to my Godparent's house until 6:40. Also, seeing that we're not familiar with the radio channels around here, the music that I was listening to in the car varied from a christmas jazz station to classical to MILEY CYRUS then to country to hip hop (it was hard to hide my approval of the music that was being played in the car at that time.) and then to spanish music. x_x.

When we finally arrived, we ate at a chinese restaurant and then went to the supermarket to get items for the baked goods that my dad asked me to make for tomorrow.

I was originally going to make tiramisu (because I haven't made it in a while) but could not find mar

scapone cheese (>=O!) so I'm making cheesecake instead! =) My dad wanted me to make pumpkin pie but I couldn't find any cans of pumpkin and I'm kind of sick from making so many different sizes of pumpkin pies at

once on Saturday night and Sunday when I was at ED's place. (Will post up the picture later. It consists of baby pumpkin pies and the mama pumpkin pie underneath. )

Once we got back, I ended up watching food network and animal planet on tv. BEST TWO TV CHANNELS EVER. Oh. and I played a little bit of the ps3 too. (My dad wanted to bring it down here bwhaha.)

Happy 21st Birthday Flooonase!

Or Aunt Flo. Or Florax. (KEKEKEKAKAKAHOHOHO. ._.) Or all the 125443 names that you have been called.

Despite it being winter break, I'm afraid that I won't be able to see too much people during this time. I just found out that I'll be heading down to LA and Vegas this Wednesday to visit my godparents and I don't know when I'll be back o_o. Sigh.

Anyways, today has been a pretty chill day. I woke up, went to the dentist, then the library and headed back home to learn from my dad's cooking. I was SUPPOSED to run with Justin this morning but he left his running shoes in Berkeley. >=|!

I shall run tomorrow.

On another note, it's pretty frustrating to find that even at twenty years old, my mom does not approve of me hanging out with other boys or in particular, dating one. Today, my mom started with the usual questions of "WHO IS THAT BOY WHO BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH?' "ARE YOU DATING HIM?" "WHAT KIND OF GRADES DOES HE GET?" (yes. Grades. Grades will reflect how good of a friend that particular person will be. How typical. SIGH). RAWR. This is the reason why I can't seem to be close to my mom because she always seems to judge me upon my choice of making friends or doing whatever. Ever since middle school, I've had to lie to my mom about the type of people I hung out with. It wasn't as if those people were 'thugs' or whatever you think of them but rather, just that they weren't GIRLS. Granted, I feel bad about lying to her face but what can I do? Tell her that I'll be out late with the boys? That probably wouldn't set well...

While I don't think to myself as to particularly hanging out with one type of gender, it's pretty annoying to see that my mom still makes assumptions that every single guy that I hang out can get me pregnant or somehow sabotages my academic life.

If I ever have kids, I am going to trust the type of people he/she hangs out with or would at least WELCOME the idea of my kid dating at some point in their lives.

SHEESH! -_-

Btw. I received a playstation three as well as Tekken 6, Resistance 1 &2. bwhaha. Words cannot express how thankful I am. <3

YES I AM DONE!

DONE WITH FINALS! YES YES YES. FINALLY.

For some reason, I wasn't able to go to sleep until like 6:30 in the morning. =/ I don't know why. It was really frustrating. Perhaps it was because I was studying up on insomnia and other various sleep disorders that made me slightly paranoid. Half way into my frustration of not sleeping, I started to get paranoid that I might have Fatal Familial Insomnia. Very very scary genetic disorder. Yeah. I know I was kind of overreacting. -_-.

I got super excited that I managed to actually sleep when I woke up today for some reason.

Today I went to Dwinelle and studied in the back of the class while Mary, Marcus, Jenn Hung and a couple of their classmates studied for Animal Behavior =). Thanks for the

fries and letting me crash your room mary!

I started to get tired of studying and asked the Racist to recommend good Chinese songs.

The final wasn't too bad. It was designed to last only for one hour and I finished pretty early.

Now I'm just waiting up on ED to come over so we can go get either Noodle Theory or Flame and then Ici. And get my christmas gift. WEEEEE! =)

I love my tokidoki headphones. I swear I am not a tokidoki whore.

Btw. On Tuesday December 15, Muse (aka Muzz or Medicated Urethral Suppository for Erection lulz.) Presales for their concert at the Oracle on April 14 came out at 1pm. It was sold out within minutes. I managed to get those presale tickets. Chyeah baby.

FINALS! O_O

twas the night before finals

Twas the night before finals,
And all through the college,
The students were praying
For last minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy,
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
Danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns,
A few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor
Would loosen their thinking.

In my own apartment,
I had been pacing,
And dreading exams
I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless,
His nose in his books,
And my comments to him
Drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee,
And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring
That my nerves were shot.

I stared at my notes,
But my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went ablur,
I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help,"
I said with a shiver,
But each place I called
Refused to deliver.

I'd nearly concluded
That life was too cruel,
With futures depending
On grades had in school.

When all of the sudden,
Our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off
Ambled inside.

His spirit was careless,
His manner was mellow,
He looked all around and
He started to bellow.

"What kind of student
Would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers
What they tossed at us?"

"On Cliffs Notes! On Crib Notes!
On Last Year's Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit,
And Last Minute Crams!"

His message delivered,
He vanished from sight,
But we heard him exclaiming
Outside in the night.

"Your teachers have pegged you,
So just do your best,
Happy Finals to All,
And to all, a good test."

-______________________________________________________-

Sent from my IB professor.

I have to admit, this is a pretty clever poem. Never the less...

FUCK YOU ANATOMY, BIOLOGY AND PHYSICS! (I would mention it to psych as well but I have some time to study for that)

x_x.

My cortisol levels released from the Zona Fasciculata of my Adrenal Cortex will slowly rise in...3..2...1.

ENTJ

"Hardly more than two percent of the total population, Fieldmarshals are bound to lead others, and from an early age they can be observed taking command of groups. In some cases, they simply find themselves in charge of groups, and are mystified as to how this happened. But the reason is that they have a strong natural urge to give structure and direction wherever they are - to harness people in the field and to direct them to achieve distant goals. They resemble Supervisors in their tendency to establish plans for a task, enterprise, or organization, but Fieldmarshals search more for policy and goals than for regulations and procedures.

They cannot not build organizations, and cannot not push to implement their goals. When in charge of an organization, whether in the military, business, education, or government, Fieldmarshals more than any other type desire (and generally have the ability) to visualize where the organization is going, and they seem able to communicate that vision to others. Their organizational and coordinating skills tends to be highly developed, which means that they are likely to be good at systematizing, ordering priorities, generalizing, summarizing, at marshaling evidence, and at demonstrating their ideas. Their ability to organize, however, may be more highly developed than their ability to analyze, and the Fieldmarshal leader may need to turn to an Inventor or Architect to provide this kind of input.

Fieldmarshals will usually rise to positions of responsibility and enjoy being executives. They are tireless in their devotion to their jobs and can easily block out other areas of life for the sake of their work. Superb administrators in any field - medicine, law, business, education, government, the military - Fieldmarshals organize their units into smooth-functioning systems, planning in advance, keeping both short-term and long-range objectives well in mind. For the Fieldmarshal, there must always be a goal-directed reason for doing anything, and people's feelings usually are not sufficient reason. They prefer decisions to be based on impersonal data, want to work from well thought-out plans, like to use engineered operations - and they expect others to follow suit. They are ever intent on reducing bureaucratic red tape, task redundancy, and aimless confusion in the workplace, and they are willing to dismiss employees who cannot get with the program and increase their efficiency. Although Fieldmarshals are tolerant of established procedures, they can and will abandon any procedure when it can be shown to be ineffective in accomplishing its goal. Fieldmarshals root out and reject ineffectiveness and inefficiency, and are impatient with repetition of error."

http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=5&c=fieldmarshal

Today has been a very annoying day.

THE CATS ARE BACK AGAIN! <3 <3

Sorry I haven't been updating in a while. I've been quite busy from studying for finals and all the prepping for DB banquet.
Let's see what has been going on through out these past couple of days...

Thursday: During my lab practical, my right contact lens was bothering me A LOT. I was very tempted to remove it during the practical but i would've wasted time. Anyways, I walked home constantly squinting my right eye and when I finally took it out, the contact lens split in half. T_T. Oh well. At least I have one more set of contacts before I need to refill them..Anyways, I went to DB elections. Man the results for coach were extremely close. We had to do a run off o_o. Went to the gym to work out and then played with Fatty and Pretty because they came back! <3 <3. Fatty looks chubs now. =|
Friday: Went to Target to get a bookcase and a ottoman. yay! Then went to Serena's place to play various board games such as Settlers and COLD WAR. haha. We also found out that it takes 10 minutes for Brian Ng's face to get red after taking 3 shots.'
Saturday: The only thing I remember this day is staying up all night with the DB officers to prep for banquet. It was quite an experience. Listening to Leehom and JSu talk about his endeavors with him, as well as some Chinese pop star gossip. It was very cold in ED's apartment that night. ><; We didn't finish everything until 9:30am on SUNDAY morning. Ah yes. Sleep Dep. for the lose. -_-This is the blanket I made for Eric Pon. It was very soft. Especially when I was super tired from making it..

Sunday: Took a nap until 2:30. Showered, got ready for banquet. Seeing that we didn't couldn't get a projector in the end, we decided to borrow Yuan's tv (<3 THANKS!) to showcase all the slideshows and stuff. It was pretty sketchy carrying that tv through Embaracerdo center. lol. Banquet was very fun. =) I'm really glad it turned out well. After banquet, we went to Phil's place to play some Warioware and I got to eat more Paella! :D :D I was SUPER tired by the end of the night.

Yuan's TV in his Car. Jasmina is behind it. Thanks for making this whole banquet possible! :D :D

Monday: Went to physics and psych review session, which was pretty much like class -_-. Then I went to the gym to lift with ED, ed and jizz. Went back to ED's place and played with the kitties. ^^. <3

Today: I think my sleeping schedule has been messed up due to studying for lab practical and preparing for banquet. I need to fix it before it's too late =|. Anyways, went to VLSB to study on IB and now I'm in Eschelman with ED and Phil for a Fantasic Four study session. Except Luke isn't there.
Now that I think about it, perhaps it's good that luke isn't there. I don't think we'd get any studying done. lol.

The three S's

Study
Sleep
Social Life

In college, you can only choose two out of the three.

So spaceous!

So I recently switched rooms in my apartment and now I have my own room! yay! It's really strange to see how spacious it is because I've been so used to living in rooms that are relatively compact ever since I came to college. Now that my sister has pretty much taken my room as hers at home, I haven't really been able to get a lot of private space until now so this is pretty exciting.
This is a section that's full of calDB stuff. It's still in the works because I have yet to get a bookshelf so I can place the TI and college race trophies and add more pictures. I also plan on getting a nice chair to put in here. weeeee. Thanks to ED and Jon Su for moving the bed frame..even though there was some 'struggle' in doing so.I haven't been updating this blog because i've been studying for lab practical. To be honest, I'm pretty scared about this practical because of what everyone else has been saying about it and that I need to do well on this test or else. I stayed up til around 4 or 5 last night drawing out the vertebrate lab stuff + a cladogram. While it was productive, I ended up missing my physics class and bio disc. because I was wayy too tired to wake up -_-. boo.

Making any class project with pokemon is AWESOME.

I had a dream of a dream today! o_o. It was crazy.

I woke up around 9 today to start on bio1al. Sort of. I basically just went over some repro

flashcards and watched random youtube videos of how starfish digest their food. My sister got in trouble again for whining too much about doing her workbooks. *sigh*. Anyways, I went onto Macys.com and saw the most AMAZING TOKIDOKI BAG SALE EVERRRRR. There were bags

being sold for 80 bucks from 180. CRAZY!!! I couldn't resist myself so I decided to get a messenger bag. ><;

To be honest, I wish I had gotten the black messenger bag but it wasn't on sale.

I went to Justin's place today to work on our psych project. Before that, we went to this sushi boat place, which..didn't have a lot of fresh sushi around. It was pretty obvious that the sushi on the boats were sitting around for quite a long time. Afterwards, we headed back to his place and started on our sleep project. (His place is huge.) Didn't really finish until 11pm or so. x_x. But while we were working on our brochure, we looked at various psych133 videos on youtube, one of which involved the use of pokemon.

After finishing the project, we went to genki. yumyum. Sometimes I tend to forget how cold SF can be so I was freezing even when I wore my Northface puffy jacket. bah. Anyways, I didn't really feel like getting something sweet so I decided to get a tuna salad crepe, which was really good. Luckily, I didn't have to take the 38 back home because my parents decided to pick me up. yay!

Right now, i'm helping my mom out by setting up this new laptop that she bought. Honestly, I don't see the point in her getting this laptop (perhaps it might be because of jealousy. -_-) because all she pretty much is going to use on this laptop is watch movies or do whatever. It's such a nice laptop...that isn't put to use by a college student Oh well. *sigh*. It even has Windows 7.... T_T.

I guess I could just use it during the winter break but that isn't really the point.

I can't believe it's already saturday. Damnit. I need more time.

Also:

Flo: I just noticed something horrible. x_x. If/when any of my brothers have kids..they'll be calling me ''aunt florence'' or ''aunt flo''.....aunt flo means a woman's period. -________-

I literally burst out laughing. Miss youuuu <3

People still drive hummers?!

I had a SUPER weird dream last night. I dreamed that I was in a Beauty Pageant and wore this super gorgeous red dress. Through out the pageant, I was asked a lot of questions and then finally had to perform something for the 'talent segment of the competition'. I didn't really know what else to do so I grabbed my paddle and when I realized I couldn't really paddle in my dress, I started to talk about calDB. After I finished, everyone started to cry in tears and then I woke up.Anyways, I did a little bit of webcasting before I headed out. While waiting for the 2 clement, I saw these two ASIAN guys in a hummer. They got pulled over by a police car but I thought it was really strange for someone to be driving in a hummer when gas prices are extremely high.

Met up with Jen Hom for some yummmyyy xiao long bao. Also had some spicy dumplings and shanghai fried noodles. My favorite! :D :D. Headed back to her place and then went to Stones to do some shopping. We first went to Nordstrom because Jenn wanted to use her giftcard on some vans. I found a pair of Tokidoki rainboots that were being sold for FIFTY DOLLARS (normally 100 or even more.) but it was in size Ten womens. T_____T

I found out a lot about Jenn's preferences..such as her liking apples, belts and purple clothes. LOL. We went a bit crazy over the soaps/perfumes at bath and body works ( I swear, those deals always gets you... ><;) and walked around different stores. I went to Metropark and was SUPER sad that I didn't find that minitrench. *sigh*. =(...Jenn found a pretty good deal at that place by getting this black jacket/blazer for 24 dollars. I ran into Mark Q and we caught up for a little bit. I went to H&M and got this nice purple dress for $15 and then realized that it was on sale from 40 bucks and that there was a buy one get one free deal. Jenn and I walked all over the store to find something nice until at the last minute, I found this black

dress that I thought wouldn't look nice but actually did. So in the end. I got 2 dresses for $16. WIN. :D

Went home and had some arbys that my dad bought. yumm.

Time to continue with that webcasting and bio1al!

This is a shirt that I found at wetseal. Thought it was pretty interesting. Didn't buy it though. haha.

Also, Phil and I have decided that the Kool Kids Klub must go to Vegas next year during the winter break. B]

http://eatingtheroad.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/the-all-inclusive-all-you-can-eat-buffet-guide/

Here's an article that might of interest for some of you.

Before I forget to mention this, I saw a Muse ad surrounded by a bunch of New Moon items at Hot Topic.Hilarious. Sort of. Will post up the picture later.

nom nom nom YAY FOR TRYPTOPHAN!

I started the day off by going online to look for some deals that I could possibly get. Despite it being thanksgiving and soon-to-be black friday, Metropark STILL isn't putting up that trenchcoat for sale. rawrrawrr. -_-. Chances are, i have a feeling i'll be getting it tomorrow. We'll see. Too bad Tokidoki didn't have a sale online either. oh well. I then started to surf into all this Tekken stuff, including watching this super old Tekken movie and looking up bios of most of the characters. (Procrastination for the win!). I finally forced myself to finish a webcast and started to organize my biolab stuff. Helped my grandma for a little bit and did some 'quality control' with some mashed potatoes. hehehehe. Hung around the house for a little bit and then finally had dinner. I don't think I've eaten so much crab at one sitting in a long time..Flo showed me this link with all these AWESOME molecule jewelries, such as the one above. The one above is called the 'focus' necklace.

"Here's a necklace to wear when you have long work days, big exams, or long "to do" lists.
The three molecules featured on this necklace are norepinephrine, acetylcholine, and dopamine, which aid focus and attention.
The necklace is sterling silver and 16 inches long. It comes with a card identifying the molecules and a recycled paper gift box."

Too bad this jewelry is pretty expensive..looking at them makes me smile. lawlllllll.

Okay. Get this...
Life is coded in the amino acids, which make up proteins. There are 22 different amino acids, each of which has been given a one-letter code as shorthand. So, you can make strings of amino acids that spell things! I've done just that, fashioning the amino acids' chemical shapes in sterling silver, so they can be used as an alphabet to spell words or names.

This sterling silver necklace spells "GEEK," for those of us who like to represent the home team. [G=glycine, E=glutamate, K=lysine]

LAWLLLLLL. ISNT THAT COOL?! lol.
Glycine Glutamate Glutamate Lysine! hehe.
Okay. I feel like an Asparagine Glutamate Arginine Aspartate
(If you're confused, it stands for NERD).
Oh amino acids. How you entertain me so. ^^.

To be honest, Thanksgiving hasn't been much of an 'epic' holiday for me within these past couple of years. Granted, the food is nice but I haven't had so much of a satisfaction with it in terms of being together as a family. Thanksgiving used to be nice when my aunts (+ her dog) and granduncle would come here but seeing that both my aunts are in HK because of their jobs and my granduncle has passed away (not to mention that my dad refuses to eat in the same room as my grandpa or vice versa) it's pretty much been just my grandma,dad,mom and my sister.
Anyways, I don't mean to be a downer but it seemed like today was just an ordinary day for our family, except that we got to eat Turkey. Also, my sister got in trouble a couple of times today. My dad yelled at her a couple of times, especially when she didn't come out for dinner because she wanted to 'make her lanyard' and when she kept dicking around when my mom asked her to go work on her math workbook. god. I don't know what to do with her. -_-. Even though I'm only a couple of miles away from home, I don't always come home because of DB or schoolwork. The person who really managed to 'set me straight' was my aunt who, like i mentioned before is in HK and is extremely busy now. I talked to Flo about it a couple of days ago because she went through a similar situation with her little brother and the only thing we concluded was that we felt old for complaining about our siblings. -_-
When I think about it, I've been worried for my sister ever since middle school when my dad got sick and my mom had to start working, not to mention all those fights that occurred back then. To think that shit scarred me makes me wonder how my sister deals with it. SIGH. -_-.

Don't get me wrong. I'm thankful for my family, friends and the life I live. I guess I just wish today was a little more festive with more than just a turkey on the table. =/ Meh.
Happy Thanksgiving! =)

I'm always thirsty these days

I didn't really want to wake up this morning seeing that my shoulders felt strangely sore through out the night. bah. Went to the gym around 9:30 (o_o.). It actually felt pretty nice working out that early. Had some REALLY yummy tiramisu and this cake shop in Berkeley. It inspires me to make another batch of tiramisu sometime soon. I want to get the almond version of it next time. Went back to pack my stuff and headed home. The weather was really nice today in SF so I went out and walked a little bit and got some garlic noodles. yumyumyum. Watched some Bones and took a nice nap.


I gotta make sure to do some quality studying during the Thanksgiving break and OMG KIDS WOOT. Too bad I'm too tall for this -_-

GAH Yogurt Pretzels!

Woke up a lot sleepier than usual. Went to Anatomy class and realized that I forgot to bring my iclicker wihch SUCKED because I answered pretty much all the questions right and the whole class got two extra credit points. RAWRWRAWRWR. -_-. For some reason, I started to get a sudden craving for yogurt pretzels in Physics lab (perhaps it was because I saw someone eating them..) so I went on an 'epic' search of them by going to the GBC, Walgreens and Sams. Didn't find them in any of those places. rawr.
I then went to Eschelman Library to finish reading up on Stiff and start brainstorming. Went back home and got ready to do some weightlifting with team stupid. Then went to Asian ghetto and got jjeol (?) myun, which is this spicy sticky noodles that were super yummy.
I then started to slowly work on my paper (-_-) and played with the camera using the slow shutter speed and some flashlights. hehe.

I wish I was that good enough to make light art like that.

Thankful

Yesterday, I didn't want to get up in the morning for practice but did. I don't think we've had so little people come to practice today in a long time but it was pretty effective. gotta work on strengthening my left arm more. It was also a bit rough getting back into paddling in Alameda with that cold ass wind.. -_-.
Went back home, started on cooking food and helped Lora out with her chicken pot pie. In the process, we watched Dogs 101 and Cats101. Yayy for dogs and cats! ^^. They're so cute.
Thanksgiving potluck was filled with crazyyyy amount of food. Wasn't able to finish as much as I did, which was quite unfortunate.

I don't think I've ever really had a Thanksgiving dinner as epic as this one, where everyone comes together with a massive amount of food and happily spends time with each other. Thanks Cal DB <3>=|

Today is one of those few days where I have absolutely nothing to do except to just chill around and finish up on my work. It feels pretty nice. =)

Heheh. He's snoring. =)

Free education for all

I'm a proponent for free higher education for everyone. I don't think it's fair for a high school student to have limited resources just because their parents can't afford to pay for college and like I have mentioned it before, I envy those students who have parents who can easily pay for their tuition and don't acknowledge that. I also don't think it's fair for a college student to work multiple jobs to pay off their tuition and as a result, struggle to do well in class.

Despite financial and personal adversity, I realize I am VERY fortunate to come to this University. There are times when I forget about this and don't take advantage of all the resources on campus. However, with the budget increase, it's been really frustrating to do so. Most of the libraries are closed now and sometimes, it's really hard to find a seat in stacks. Not to mention the fact that many departments are beginning to limit enrollment. When I think about it, it's so ironic to consider that the best public university in the world has to face these issues. Today has been pretty hectic with these protests going around campus. Protesters have been crowding around Wheeler and blocking Doe library and police have resorted coming into the buildings and convincing them to come out.
While I support the cause, there are some things I don't agree upon.
1) There are some individuals in this protest that are intimidating others to join their cause. Don't fucking judge anyone and call them out just because they're not standing with you.
2) Don't pull fire alarms in the buildings and disrupt other people who I'm sure would LOVE to join you but can't. By pulling multiple fire alarms, you're not only wasting the fire department's time but you're wasting MORE money that could go towards the University.
3) Protest but don't be an inconvenience to anyone to the point that they don't believe in the cause of this movement because that's how some people are feeling right now.
4) Blocking the entrance of Wheeler and Doe library forces the university to still pay for those teachers who were not able to teach in those buildings today.

I support the cause but don't support some the actions that are being taken.

BUT..for those people who don't think a budget increase would be that big of a deal in comparison to paying for private school, there's a REASON why people don't go to private school. Granted, most of prestigious private schools offer financial aid but sometimes that's not even enough. There's always those students in the gray line and don't assume that someone who has all their tuition completely paid for in a University is going to be 'set'.

Cal is one of those few universities in the world who value hard work despite financial adversity. However, those ideas are beginning to slip. I just hope these protests will be worth it.

Lets go traveling?

Overslept for Bio lecture and Psych discussion. hehe...
Went to anatomy and sat next to someone who smelled like REALLY strong baby powder. Sat in physics discussion as well as psych and went home.

I've been looking up more programs on study abroad and I'm actually considering perhaps either going to China to learn about TCM during the summer or HK during the fall after my senior year. However, my aunt, who is pretty much the only family member who really guides/helps me out in choosing academic decisions doesn't think that traveling out of the country is really worth doing since it's expensive. =| I don't know. I just want to travel around =(

Okay I need to start studying....NOW!

Starry night

Got back to Berkeley around 10:45, right before class started. Went through the usual procedure of classes. Found a seat inside FSM but then got a bit annoyed when the sun was constantly shining into my face so I decided to move into stacks before lab lecture started. Mike Meighan can show the most awkward presentations/animations sometimes....
Waited for ED to finish weightlifting and found out that he forgot his lock combo/where his locker was -_-. Team stupid for the win.
Went to Noodle Theory, which we haven't gone in like forever and ordered something OTHER than the beef curry udon..started to regret it halfway into my dish (even though it was still good) but still managed to have a little bit of the Udon because ED had ordered it for himself heheheeeee...
Took a brief 'nap' back and woke up around 1:30am to try and go up to the hills to watch the meteor shower. Although we only saw 3 shootings stars, I was still happy to go and look up at the clear sky and see the city lights from below. I love looking at stars =)
My pentagon star constellation beats your triangle star constellation.

"my soul hurts" "oh no! your foot hurts?!"

Got out of bed around 10. I wish I could've slept more but wasn't able to. Spent the whole day in pain while trying to upload/tag pictures and webcasting. Within the first 20 minutes of webcasting, I got super tired and decided to take a nap. It was the best nap i've had in a while. biology for the win!

Feeling really lazy to go back to Berkeley (really, it's more like dreading to carry all my luggage back up to the apartment ._.) so I'm just going to go back tomorrow morning, when my shoulder's are not so sore.

Ever since I laid eyes on this mini trench coat a couple of weeks, I can't seem to stop thinking about it! AH! Why must you be 130 dollars?! =*((...Seeing that the weather is getting colder by the day, I feel like i'm just going to cave in and buy it sometime soon...

http://www.metroparkusa.com/fashion/women/obey/item/7769/Dunaway-Stretch-Trench-Coat/hoodies-and-jackets

it's so cute..and it fits so perfectly..=(

Really stupid or really desperate?

Got up at 5:30am. went to Lake Merced as if it were a typical race day except it was only us. Accomplished the 100km task! It majorly sucked throughout the course though, not to mention that it felt very monotonous every now and then. Stupid events occurred over the course of the day (but then again,. thats not to be surprised).

Finally finished around 5. Everyone was completely exhausted and sore.

Went back home and now my eyes can hardly open.

Good job for those who came out today for Paddle-a-thon..and shame on those who didn't for making your teammates bust their butts. <3

Costco is fun.

Woke up super drowsy and slightly cranky/sore from the way I slept the night before.

On my way to anatomy, I heard someone pull a pick up line with regards to me studying my flashcards and intentions to study his body. Somehow, I managed to lose my ID on my way to class, which made me freak out for a little bit since midterms require you to present an ID to take it. Luckily, someone turned it in at the Cal1Card place. (Blessed soul.) Anatomy midterm sucked ass, asides from the section on Cranial nerves, the brain and auditory system. All the material I studied for the other lectures weren't even on the test. ugh.Heard an orthopedic surgeon talk about how their clinic has a brain tree, where colleagues would put their 'brain' on a tree before they go on vacation so they can do stupid stuff.

Also saw a lot of gruesome but fascinating pictures of broken/severed arms and legs.

Asked ED to drive me back to SF. ><; didn't really seem like it was a good idea, seeing how frustrated he was with traffic....

Picked up sister but freaked out for a little bit when she wasn't to be found beforehand and heard that her day care teacher didn't see her all day. Went to Costco and got foods for paddle-a-thon (which by the way, are better quality than what normally is bought on a regular race day).

Finally went home and finished mastering physucks.

Yay for paddle-a-thon. PLEASE DONATE! ><;

Fail on me. -_-

Monday: Voice was gone. really. it hasn't been like that for a while. Went through the same routine with regards to class EXCEPT that we didn't have lab lecture WOOOOOT. Was pretty tired through out the whole day
Tuesday: Voice was coming back. Went to physics lecture and found that it wasn't Deweese. Then went to VLSB to start on the epic anatomy study fest. yayyy..then had an RHXD reunion at barney's <3. I miss you all. Found out that ED's car got broken into so went back to his place to see what was up and then went to the Post college race DB party. fun fun fun. =)

Wednesday: Woke up late. Went to the library to study again. then went to Serena's for fondue night (yumyum!) and watched Ip Man, which is such an EPIC movie. Cantonese people ftw.!

Thursday: Finding a seat inside FSM is like winning the jackpot. I intended to stay there for the whole time and then got kicked out around 3:30 because the FSM was getting ready for some 'special event' rawrrrrr. Moved into stacks and now i'm here. wootz.

Studying is not fun. Making flashcards aren't either...
By the way, that pile of flashcards only amounts to 3 lectures in anatomy. rawr

Remember Remember the 8th of November

*Will insert picture later*.
Woke up at 5:30am. Got everything ready for the big day. Got there and set up things as usual, re-unioned with a couple of Gal and AWATers which was really nice but I didn't really get to catch up with as many people as I wanted due to racing/drumming in all the CalDB heats (YEAH BITCHES.) Risked falling off the boat during the men's semi final when the drum was extremely loose and fell onto row 1. I also got 2 two cuts-a massive one on my finger and another one on my toe as well as two huge ass bruises on my leg(will post up the damages later) from drumming.
We may have won hardware but I think the experience that our boat shared together was even more momentous.

Three years. I have been on this team for three years and we've grown up SO much together. To be honest, I came to Cal DB with the intention that I was there to just paddle and not have such an experience as we have all gone through. However, I was wrong. Those people who were there at that last college cup two years knew what was at stake and almost 90% of those people probably considered quitting right then and there but for some reason, decided to stick with it. More people came along, realized our passion of how badly we wanted it and may have left but still bleed with us along the way. Right after that last heat, I started to break down like no other (sorry Zack, Jay, Vincent, Valerie and Mary ><) because for a moment, I thought that this was it for Cal, that we had the best of the old and new combined together and our season was over. That race felt like a fight for our lives. Through out that whole course, flashes of what we all had gone through raced through my mind, from all those water practices, races that led up to this moment and of course, land training. Granted, I was tired from yelling and falling on my butt after Cal2's final heat, right before Cal1 but that pain was pushed aside because I knew everyone else wanted to gun for it. Thinking back to that moment still brings tears to my eyes but when I realize that I was wrong. CalDB is NOT done. Although I may still have one or possibly two more College races left in me, I realize that the team will never face its 'final race' because of all the new and amazing talent (man. I feel old -_-) on the team. We may aim for College race or any other races in the future but it's not the end yet. It's never the end.
Once a CalDBer, Always a CalDBer. We always mention that we're a family after every race and profess our love for CaldB and each other and I don't think any other team really has that like us.

No other DB team is willing to stuff 8-9 people in a car after practice because they don't want to leave anyone behind.
No other DB team is willing to call themselves stupid even though they're clearly not.....individually.
No other DB team will have so many ridiculous nicknames for each other as we have.
No other DB team can possibly have as much or more fun than us.
No other DB team can facebook SPAM as much as us.
No other DB team has as much HEART as us.
No other DB team has as much PASSION as us.
No other DB team can bleed BLUE AND GOLD as much as us.

So for those who have understood me through out this post and has (or is still.. ><) shed the same amount of tears, sweat and pain as I have, I thank you.
Because of you, you make me look forward to improve every step of the way and every inch on the boat. You make me want to keep fighting and prove to the other teams that we ARE the team to watch out for.


For those who may not have yet experienced this yet, I thank you as well.
It didn't really commit to the team until the second semester of my freshman year because I was still pretty new, didn't know anyone else around me and it felt like everyone already knew each other. However, becoming captain at a young age didn't cause me to become committed, it may have helped but it was really seeing all those familiar faces come to practice week after week and realizing that they want to do well made want to work hard with them.
You are the future of this team and like everyone else has mentioned it before, it's upon us now to carry the legacy on.

I Love You CalDB.
Now it's time to sleep.

Ugh.

Woke up relatively early for some reason and realized that there was no point in doing so since practice didn't start until 12. Went to Lake Merced around 11:30 to watch other teams practice and turn in the waiver while waiting for everyone else to come. Got disturbed/disgusted seeing something and which still shocks (for a lack of any better word) me whenever I think of it now...ugh.
Had practice. Went home and allowed the officers to come and get ready for the pre-race dinner. Since our menu was a lot simpler, we managed to make food a lot faster, even though we ran out of pasta sauce very quickly=|. Our team started to draw various posters for each boat, such as Cal1,Cal2, Hotties and of course. Team Stupid (as you can see above). I must say that team stupid is quite dumb but entertaining. After various moments of drawing sillouettes, kissing the poster boards, painting finger/toenails and massaging each other, it was time for everyone to go home. Today was such a long day -_-.


One more day. I want to cherish each moment as much as I can.

Something new.

Let's try something for a change.
I haven't taken pictures in a LONG time..
SO,everyday I'm going to simply recap what has happened through out the day and try to associate a picture to it.
..or at least try to. lol.

So let's start with here...
Today I woke up with the intention to go to Bio because I started to feel annoyed and guilty for not showing up. I told myself that I was going to put it my all in terms of learning the material for the last section of bio1a but I ended up falling back to sleep -_-. Instead of woke up to Anatomy and found that it was raining. Went to go pick up my rembursement check as well as order my bio reader (again.) on my way to class. Anatomy class was pretty much the same as usual: Phil and I going online, chatting to each other even though we're sitting right next to each other. After anatomy class, I went to 131A to listen to a pediatrician which really caught my attention. He was one of the few doctors who completely and enthusiastically enjoyed being a pediatrician. It's been a while since i've heard of good things for being a pediatrician, since most people i've met have claimed that most pediatricians tend to be more depressed out of all other doctor professions ( i don't remember where I got that from ). After class, I went back home to go change clothes and shoes and then headed out with Jasmina to make copies of the waivers, obtain poster paper and markers. We then met up with Walex and Luke to go to a costco run, which took a little longer than usual because I think they rearranged most of the items there. We bought enough items that hit RIGHT ON our projected budget, which was awesome. Went back to my apt and found that my dad was waiting for me to go back to SF. Went home with a bunch of DB stuff and now I'm here!

So you might be wondering why I posted the picture of a sweatshirt that says 'GO BEARS OR GO HOME'. Well, that's our new CalDB sweatshirt which are extremely awesome. While it's a bit big on me, I enjoy wearing it. Today I saw 3 other people with the same sweatshirt and I thought how crazy it was to see that. Despite midterms and the usual school crap, it makes me happy to see everyone on the team being so pumped up for the upcoming race (based upon the facebook spammage). Seeing Yuan's videos really cheer me up and make me reminisce of those times. <3 Seeing that there's only two days left until the big day, part of me is excited and yet the other part of me wishes that there was still time left to anticipate for this event.

Anyways, it's time for me to go eat hotpot. YAY!

everything is falling apart and it feels like I'm trying to hold on to the remaining pieces

Angel on my shoulder but a devil in my head..

I can't stop listening to this song! ahhh.
><

Rain rain...

It's been a while since it has rained this hard. =|. It really makes me not want to go to class at all for the whole day and just stay put.

Seeing that I haven't written here in a while, you'd figure that I'd have something to really post here about but to be honest, it's really hard to update when you don't have anything to rant about. haha. Things have been quite busy, though I don't really know why thats the case seeing that I'm taking a break from APO this semester. I must say though, taking a break from APO feels like my circle of friends has been limited now that I no longer go to PRs or CMs or that kind of sort and sometimes, I kind of miss it despite all everything feels so repetitive now. Anyways, I guess I could just list off anything new that's happened so far

1) Pretty and Fatty make me happy. =) Whenever I see them ,my moods suddenly get lifted up and I feel a whole lot more at ease. For those who may not know who pretty and fatty is,, they are these two kittens that were found downstairs Eric's apartment that probably were abandoned. We started to take care of them by giving them canned food and eventually brought them up. When we first met them, one of the cats was extremely social and the other was very shy. We decided to name the social cat, "fatty" because she gobbled up all the food we gave her in the beginning. We named the other cat pretty because her long grey+brown and white coat and blue green eyes just made her look so pretty. Originally, I thought fatty was a boy because she seemed to be extremely adventurous and protective of her sister but it turned out that both of them are girls. We've been trying to find people who would be interested in owning the kittens but so far, nobody has really committed to it. While they can't really stay here for any much longer, I really hope there was some way that they could. =| I will post up pictures of the cats in the near future.

2) I can't say how proud I am to see how CalDB is becoming where it is now. Enough said. However, it seems like everyone has been getting sick (including me) so I hope we start to get better before race day. =|

3) Taking Bio+LAB, anatomy and physics together sucks. In fact, last week sucked with having 2 midterms and a lab quiz (that practically feels like a midterm) while being sick and covered with random flea bites. Now that that round of midterms are over, I feel so much more at ease. .(...and as of now, I have decided not to go to physics just because it's raining SUPER HARD...chances are, I probably wouldn't have paid attention anyways..)

4) Lately, I've been trying to looking some study abroad programs, particularly in Asia that deals with either learning Chinese or TCM. Things haven't been going so well just because applications haven't been sent out. However, there is this one program that I'm interested in where it consists of doing HIV research in China and working with a MCB faculty during the spring to prepare for it. However, I honestly don't know if I could get it just because I feel like my grades aren't good enough and I've been hesitant to ask people for letters of rec now.

5) I have an awesome boyfriend and I'm very glad I get the chance to spend time with him through the ups and downs of our relationship =) (....and let me practically live here.... -_-.... )

New year, New decade, New start

As the end of summer approaches, I am somewhat haunted by the idea of becoming a junior in college as well as becoming twenty years old. o_o.

When you're a kid, you hardly even think of the idea of becoming older. You assume that everything is going to be the same, where you'll always have the same group of friends, the same set of goals. The only concerns that would probably come to your head would be whether you can beat that gym leader with that certain level with your Pokemon or when recess will come. Whenever I see my sister, I'm often reminded of how simple minded she can be. She act like it's still okay to talk incorherently or jump around all over the house and as much as I yell at her to calm down, I realized there was a point where I was like that as well.

Sheesh. I feel like an old person reminscing these things.

Anyways, with a new school year ahead, it's time to buckle down and start getting serious! o_o

New school year resolutions

1) Resume that regime of going to the library every school day to study.

2) ATTEND CLASS!

3) Research med schools

4)Look up Summer abroad

5) Raise that GPA. x_x

6) Prep for MCATS

7)Don't stress out. too much.

8) Paddle and exercise hard for CalDB <3

9) Stop bitching around and get shit done.

10) Smile and try to have fun. =)

LALA

No Money, No Honey.

Ah Yes. Teh Recession.We sure have heard of that for quite some time with the nation (not to mention California) in serious debt of over millions of dollars. To be honest, it didn't really bother me until recently, especially when I realized that the Governor might eliminate Cal Grants as a whole. While I am fortunate to have a substantial amount of scholarship money to help me through my years in College, those grants are still important. It really makes me sad to think of how education is constantly short-handed because of budget cuts. While our high school was pretty forunate to obtain money for being a 'technology' school with multiple macs and pcs, we still faced budget issues when it came to dealing with SFUSD (*ugh*). There was a moment when teachers were seriously considering going on strike for their income and one of my favorite teachers (who really made me appreciate the Chinese language and culture now) actually left the district because it didn't provide money for herself and family.
Anyways, as I was browsing the internet at home (in SF), I came across an article that described how many teachers in NYC who have been suspended from the school district are still being paid by the school district for essentially doing nothing.

"Hundreds of New York City public school teachers accused of offenses ranging from insubordination to sexual misconduct are being paid their full salaries to sit around all day playing Scrabble, surfing the Internet or just staring at the wall, if that's what they want to do." http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090622/ap_on_re_us/us_rubber_rooms

The first response in my head at that time was, "WHATTTHEF-."

Because the teachers collect their full salaries of $70,000 or more, the city Department of Education estimates the practice costs the taxpayers $65 million a year. The department blames union rules.


Does this even make sense? Here you have teachers who are getting paid thousands of dollars for doing NOTHING in one side of the country when you see amazing teachers get laid off just because of budget cuts or students from disadvantaged backgrounds chosing NOT to go to college just because they aren't offered additional financial assistance. Granted, this situation is in NYC and not in SF but I still feel there is an injustice in this.
When it comes to money for higher education, especially for socio-economical disadvantaged students, I am a firm supporter. I believe students who have parents who can easily pay through their college tuition are BLESSED. and if there's one thing that really frustrates me, it's to see parents who wastes thousands of dollars on their kid who didn't make use of education at a university or school. To hear of the Cal Grants potentially be reduced or even eliminated really makes me sad. Even if it's only a couple hundred or thousand of dollars, I know friends who really benefit from that amount. Granted, I believe there are a little things that the California Government could fix with the Gal grants (finding a better way to really determine eligibility instead of having a black and white cut off line) or lowering college tuition as a whole (oh man, Don't we all wish that were true..) but I really don't like the idea of making it harder for students to find ways to fund their education as it is hard already.

While I was sitting in the bart going back home, I realized how much money I have been spending for the past couple of days. It also doesn't really help to see that I have to pay $1,000 out of my own pocket for my biochem class (I swear, I BETTER do well for that class.) instead of having financial aid cover for it (Stupid 6 unit cap. I really didn't want to take two classes + commute back to SF again like last year) and that I've been carelessly spending money on random shit, not to mention oweing people. SIGH. It also doesn't help to see that unless I get a job sometime soon, I won't be able to get money until my financial aid comes out, which won't be til..Late August.

Man maybe I really do need to start working on the streets. hah.

Renewal

Today I was able to watch a surgeon perform a laminectomy on a patient in person.
I had to wake up super early to catch the muni/bart and freaked out for a little bit on the bart because I forgot to bring change for the muni so I had to get off at the Powell stop to go to a Bank of America ATM machine to get a $20 which I had to then go to a starbucks to buy something to get some change out of that bill. Anyways, I showed up a couple of minutes earlier than my supervisor so I was just hanging around and then when she finally came, I went across the street with her to the surgical floor in the General hospital building at UCSF. As the surgeons made an incision on the patient's back and made their way into the spine, I couldn't help but contain myself with wonder and excitment. A part of me inside gasped out of fascination and horror when the surgeon removed a couple of the lumbar pieces (SPINAL BONE!!!) of the patient. Anyways, I was filled with adrenaline through out and after the surgery and the midst of it, I realized that I have found something new that inspires me to pursue after medicine in the midst of the grades/competition/classes that I constantly face everyday here at Berkeley. As I looked at myself in the mirror with my scrubs on, I told myself that I would come back here again and wear those scrubs in the future and I am confident that I will.

I have never felt so inspired until now. For the past couple of days, or even semesters, I've been so insecure about whether I really wanted to pursue medicine because of my grades and the fact that there are classes in Berkeley that are really out to get you and screw you over (*cough* Chem3 series + Bio1A). I was also extremely insecure because I felt like I was making a goal that wasn't really realistic. Almost everyone around me who is a premed here at Berkeley had a specific speciality that they want to go into while I didn't. I originally wanted to go for Oncology but I realized how depressing it can be (and i'd be diving into a lot of personal issues there.). I considered pediatrics but I don't know if I would really want to deal with parents who are extremely concerned with their child (well, i mean that makes sense but after working at the fitting room with moms at forever 21 made me realize how unreasonably protective parents can be) and I didn't want to wake up in the middle of the morning to make house calls. I knew straight off from the bat that Medical School would be extremely expensive and hard to get into (and get through) Out of all of these factors, I was mostly concerned with the issue between dealing with my personal and work life. I always hear stories of doctors who struggle between their family and work. I remember how I was so amazed at this married couple of doctors who dated through medical school and residency and managed to effectively raise a family through out. (yeah. I know i'm getting way out of my head with this but you gotta weigh in the factors MAYNE!)

Anyways... I guess what I want to say is that I WILL try harder and not get discouraged by anything that may put me down personally or academically because I want to genuinely walk around the hospital floors as a physician now that I managed to get a first hand experience at it.

...Time to start studying for MCB102. YEE. (._.)

"To all, I would say how mistaken they are when they think they stop falling in love when they grow old, without knowing that they grow old when they stop falling in love"

Nicely said.

grr for finals =(

How Bitter Sweet

Today's last ochem lecture had such a bitter sweet ending. =)

I'm certainly going to miss the classes that I have taken this semester ,especially my soc class on Modern Contemp. China.

...which I should be studying for right now because I have a final on that and another class in the next couple of hours.

AHH!

Voted: "Most Likely to Succeed"...hah my butt.

Don't you hate the feeling when you hear people claiming that they have so many high expecations of you to succeed and you stand there and smiling, thinking in the back of your head that you're not sure if you can fulfill them at all?
Story of my life.


During Spring break, I went out to have dim sum with my friend and his family at 'Tong Buffet Palace' on Clement (where new Chinatown is) and for a majority of the time, his parents were just gushing to everyone else about how 'brilliant/charming/amazing' I was and how I will definitely enter Medical school because I received a full ride scholarship to Berkeley and I am majoring/minoring in such interesting topics.
While smiling and nodding to them all, I couldn't help feeling so dismayed at my performance here at Cal with regards to grades and academics as a whole.
Since I've came here, everyone has been asking on my status on my grades, whether or not I'm doing okay, getting enough sleep, blahblahblahblah. The only thing I can really respond to them is 'yeah, I'm doing alright. eh." But in reality, I truly wish I could be doing so much better..I wish I could be excelling in Organic chemistry or that I could obtain better time management skills and stop getting distracted by other people/things.

It's just that there are SOO many smart people here at Cal that I feel like I don't even know how I can possibly compete against them. Even hearing about these people who don't even need to put in the effort to study and yet manage to get a perfect score just makes me feel so stupid and dumb. and I ABSOLUTELY hate it when people complain about their fucking A- grades and think that it's the end of their world. (...bitches..)

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all these expectations because it motivates me to do well but it just makes me worry to consider the thought of doing only mediocre in all my classes and not 'standing out' for those medical school applications. I truly fear the idea of letting people down in my academic studies, especially my Aunt.

The reason why I bring this up is that I've been trying to debate between taking physics 8a or MCB 102 during the summer. MCB 102 will no doubt be harder because it is about biochemistry but I've heard that it's easier to accomplish during the summer. On the downside, it requires a preq of organic chemistry (done) and Bio1A (first semester of AP bio on steroids. Btw. It's so depressing to hear of that class ruining people's lives/majors......*sigh*) . I have not taken bio1A but Linan (friend who graduated last year) said he did the same and manage to obtain an A+.

You see, after hearing him talk about it and how it's easy, you would assume that it would make me at ease but it's not.

You're talking about this guy who I've been looking up to since I've came here to Berkeley and has obtained >3.9 GPA. If he claims it's easy, I don't know if it really is.

He tries to assure me that I shouldn't worry but uh.. how can I not? Especially after my recent results with my Ochem midterm (and the one that's coming up next week. AHHHH SO SCREWED.).

*sigh* ....I feel so dumb.

Augh

"I think i need an explanation because you're messing up my perception.
Was it all just an illusion? Think you need to wake me up.
Hallucination. I can't see past the lines.
Hallucinations. Is what I'm witnessing tonight"
-Myah Marie

Why is it that I keep having these conflicting emotions? It's like one moment, I feel like the world is wonderful and the next moment, I just want to get away from it all.
and no. I am not bi-polar. >_>;

Boo for the end of spring break but yay for the return of internet.

Edit: I know I haven't updated myself with the status of my ochem goal.
Number of lectures paid completely attention in: 10
Number of lectures I zoned out within the last 30 min: 2
Number of lectures didn't show up: 3 >_>;;
Lectures total so far: 15
Lectures remaining: 12 (?)

JIA YOU!

Amazing

It's SO amazing to see people who have the heart and compassion to adopt a baby girl from China.

The thought of adopting a baby from China has usually been in the back of my mind. It was only after watching that documentary on female babies in China that made me really want to considering doing something like that in the future. To think of how the sex ratio in China is highly skewed towards the males is really shocking and to imagine how things will turn out for those males, or just the Chinese society as a whole worries me.
If I were to adopt a baby girl though, I would want to make sure she would be totally immersed in Chinese culture and at least know the language so if she were to ever come back to China, she would know how to communicate to the people who took care of her in the orphanage.

Okay. Yeah. looking way too far into the future but i'm just saying..

Adopting a child is one thing but to adopt a child from another country is just extraordinary. It takes SO much time for a couple get through the whole process of obtaining a child and it just really shows how people can be so compassionate to want to take care of a child who has been through so much as a baby.

eh

I've been feeling so lost through out these past couple of days and it's hard because nobody has been available.
GAH. hfSIDFHDSIFH
I suppose the best way to solve this is to talk it out

Practices

For the benefit of my body, here are things that I've always wanted to do:

1) Completely cover lotion all over body. I've noticed that there are specific areas on the upper part of my arm that is dry and bumpy. I feel like it's grown over the course of time (I blame this on Dragonboat because I never noticed it until then)

2) "detoxify body", Eating vegetables and fruits for the WHOLE day. I don't know if I can do this but I really want to. I feel like my digestive system is crappy because a majority of the food i regularly consume is protein and carbs. ..

3) Drink a LOT of water. I used to do this in high school but i've stopped. I should start again.

4) Put SPF on my face everyday. I managed to be able to do it for 70% of the time I go outside but I feel like it should be better.

Anyone want to join me??

Maybe I'm just in a phase again but

I love it when I listen to something that incorporates hip hop and another genre together. In high school, I remember being in this hugeeeeeee Fort minor/Linkin Park/Handsome Boy Modeling School phase and it really struck out to me because it practically mixed rock and hip hop together. (Btw, you may think I'm a nerd but I LOVE the lyrics in H!-Vl8tage. Look it up and you'll see what i mean.)

Reanimation was my favorite CD. <3 It was in constant repeat.

Anyways, the reason why I mention this is because I was watching ABDC the other day and I LOVED "Orquestra" by Quest (MYGOD. SO. HOT. AHHH.). It sent shivers up my spine and it seriously felt like an eyegasm+eargasm. Recently, I've been listening to other music, such as Paul Dateh and Jedi Mind Tricks and gosh...So amazing.

Man. It sure sucks to go back to SF by yourself when it's raining. *sigh*.

I want a panda hat ^^.

Damaged

I chose to hide myself because I don't want to appear vulnerable to you. You say that I shouldn't hide my emotions but at this rate, I see it as my way to deal with things and move on because once I do, I feel like it's going to be much worse than what I'm feeling.

But I don't think you really understand the whole situation.
Ever since last semester, I've been scared of karma; that what I did is going to hit me back hard. In my past relationship, I've been so used to be the person who was relatively stronger than my significant other. I was the one who always heard about complaints from him that I didn't spend enough time with him whenever I was busy with school work and extracurriculars. Towards the end, I distanced myself because not only did I know that we were going to be away from each other again, but also because he was being too needy for me so it got extremely annoying.
Because of that, it has ended up to being where we are now.
..and it scares me to think that I'm in his situation now.

I think i'm going to regret typing this up but I figured you should at least know that fact. After all, you don't want me to hide my emotions right?

So sorry.

TCM

I actually don't know why or when my interest in Chinese Medicine really started. To come to think of it, maybe it was when I started noticing the different types of soups and herbal concoctions that my grandmother or my mom used to make.
-This one would reduce hot air
-drink this and you will increase your appetite!
-drink this and you will get taller!

Yeah well, the last one apparently didn't really work out for me that much but it was just interesting to think of these things that weren't mentioned in Western medicine; where it seems to focus on the body as specified compartments and treating the body by only targeting the symptom In Chinese medicine, it compasses the body as whole, the concept of yin and yang and whether the body is in balance/harmony. TCM treats the body by diagnosing the source of the problem.When my dad got sick, he would take these herbs prescribed by a TCM practitioner in addition to the radiation and chemotherapy. These herbs, wrapped in a simple white sheet of paper consisted of the most random-est things; wood, leaves, and even a dead bee. Whether these herbs really worked by killing off the cancerous cells or help reduce the damaging effects of chemotherapy, it seemed like it was helping him significantly. I think it was at that point where I was really curious to see whether other cancerous patients knew of such a thing that could potentially assist them through out the process.
Since the beginning of elementary school, I've always had an interest in anything that was related to China. I remember always going to the library and specifically looking out for videos or books that would talk about Chinese New Year or the Lunar Festival because it encompassed their culture. It really made me proud to be Chinese, or rather an Asian, especially since I was practically one of the few, if not, only Asian girl in a school full of white people. As much as I hated moving to San Francisco back then, I enjoyed being immersed in a culture so rich. Maybe that's why I've become so 'fobby'.
That reminds me of this quiz that tested how 'Asian are you'.
http://www.yellowbridge.com/humor/kindofasian.php
What's interesting enough is that I've met pretty much all types of Asians that were enlisted on the site above, probably from simply growing up in SF and coming here.

And where do I belong to? Although I'd have some qualities enlisted in 'tab' i.e. I like sanrio, weigh less than 105 and LOVE (or at least used to) platform shoes (to make me taller of course XD).
I'd like to classify myself as fobulous. =)

Ever since I came to Berkeley, it sort of bothers me whenever I see or meet an Asian who has no idea of their what their culture is about. I've been so used to growing up around people who knew different kinds of Asian pop stars, sings, dramas, food and it's strange now to meet someone to doesn't know these things.

Okay yeah I'm going off tangent from what I originally wanted to talk about but now that I have to head off to dinner, I shall finish this thought later.