7.23.2010

o_o


Copied from Vincent's blog


(12:24:35 AM) Jennifer Woo ._.
(12:26:00 AM) Andrew Yu LOLTHANKS
(12:26:11 AM) Andrew Yu YOURE SUCH A BLEEZ
(12:26:14 AM) Jennifer Woo lol
(12:26:20 AM) Jennifer Woo sorry
(12:26:23 AM) Andrew Yu of course this makes you think of me
(12:26:48 AM) Jennifer Woo hey i stumbled upon this article while studying for mcat ochem
(12:26:59 AM) Jennifer Woo so it doesn't make me feel much better either
(12:27:06 AM) Jennifer Woo i just felt the need to bring someone else down
(12:27:08 AM) Jennifer Woo lol not really
(12:27:09 AM) Jennifer Woo sort of.

And now I'm spreading it to all of you! yay.....!

The Dark Side of Perfectionism Revealed

By Rachael Rettner, LiveScience Staff Writer

posted: 11 July 2010 09:28 am ET

Perfectionists, by definition, strive for the best, trying to ace exams, be meticulous at their jobs, and raise perfect children. So one might assume this drive for the ideal translates over to their health as well, with perfectionist being models for physical and mental well-being.

But new research is revealing the trait can bring both profits and perils.

Though perfection is an impossible goal, striving for it can be a boon for one's health, causing one to stick to exercise programs to a tee, say, or follow a strict regimen for treating chronic illnesses like type 2 diabetes. But the same lofty goals can mean added mental pressure when mistakes are made and the resistance to asking for help from others in fear of revealing one's true, imperfect self.

In fact studies show the personality trait of perfectionism is linked to poor physical health and an increased risk of death.

Researchers are just beginning to tease apart this complex trait and its relation to health.

"Perfectionism is a virtue to be extolled definitely," said Prem Fry, a psychology professor at Trinity Western University in Canada. "But beyond a certain threshold, it backfires and becomes an impediment," she said. [Related: Perfectionists at Risk for Postpartum Depression]

Fry and several of her colleagues recently spoke at a symposium on perfectionism and health at the Association for Psychological Science convention in Boston.

What is perfectionism?

While some might aim to be perfect in certain areas of their life — such as an athlete who must stick to a grueling workout schedule — true perfectionism comes in a generalized form.

"You should want to be perfect across a variety of aspects of your life," said Gordon Flett, a psychology professor at York University in Canada.

"It's natural to be perfectionistic in the thing that matters the most, like your job — if you're a surgeon, there's no room for error," Flett said. "[But] you don’t want that same person to be going home and using those same standards to evaluate family members, which causes stress," he said. "It has to generalize."

Perfectionism tends to have two components: a positive side, including things like setting high standards for themselves; and a negative side, which involves more deleterious factors, such as having doubts and concerns over mistakes and feeling pressure from others to be perfect.

Some scientists have argued a subset of these high-achievers can be classified as "positive perfectionists," those who reap the benefits of perfectionism without falling victim to its ills. However, others say that while perfectionism might seem to be advantageous in certain situations, it always has a dark side that inevitably rears its head. For instance, a perfectionist might seem fine under normal circumstances, but lose control under stress.

While the existence of "positive perfectionists" is still debated, there's no doubt the trait can be quite counterproductive in some cases.

"That, in essence is the paradox of perfectionism, that certain people have extraordinarily high standards, but objectively can often look very dysfunctional in terms of their daily functioning, theirphysical health, their achievement," said Patricia DiBartolo, a psychology professor at Smith College, in Northampton, Mass. "They flunk out of college, and the reason why is they're so perfectionistic they can't actually achieve any goal; as you begin the process, it's just impossible."

Perfectionism and lifespan

Compared with the number of studies looking at perfectionism's impact on mental health, relatively few have examined the condition's toll on physical health. Some earlier work has linked the trait with various ailments, including migraines, chronic pain and asthma.

Fry and her colleagues recently looked at the relationship between perfectionism and overall risk of death. The study followed 450 adults aged 65 and older for 6.5 years. The participants completed an initial questionnaire to assess their level of perfectionism and other personality traits.

Those with high perfectionism scores, meaning they placed high expectations on themselves to be perfect, had a 51-percent increased risk of death compared to those with low scores.

The researchers suspect high levels of stress and anxiety, which are known to be linked with perfectionism, might contribute to the decrease in lifespan.

Next, they reasoned that if perfectionism showed this association in a normal population, it might have an even greater impact on those with a chronic disease, which would put their bodies under even more stress.

But after following 385 patients with type 2 diabetes for 6.5 years, the researchers actually saw the opposite effect. Those with high perfectionism scores had a 26-percent lower risk of death than those with low scores.

The results suggest that in certain situations, perfectionism can have advantages. With type 2 diabetes, scrupulous attention to blood sugar levels and strict adherence to dietary rules can have payoffs in terms of reducing disease severity, the researchers suspect.

"[Perfectionists] are very self-critical, they are not satisfied ever with their performance," Fry said.

"In this particular study on diabetes, those kinds of perfectionistic attitudes, normally we would regard them to be dysfunctional attitudes, but in the case of the diabetic sample, they turned out to be very positive traits," she said. "These individuals were highly self-critical, they worked harder than the average person to adhere to the instructions of the physician or the attending doctor in staying with all the do's and dont's of diabetic diet constraints."

"So they ended up taking better care of themselves through self-management than people who were sort of more easygoing and lax," she said.

Who expects perfection?

Some studies suggest the role of perfectionism on health might depend on who’s imposing the high standards.

In 2006, Danielle Molnar, of Brock University in Canada, examined the perfectionism-health link in nearly 500 Canadian adults between the ages of 24 and 35.

The study assessed participants for three different dimensions of perfectionism: self-oriented perfectionism, in which individuals impose high standards on themselves; socially prescribed perfectionism, where individuals feel others expect them to be perfect; and other-oriented, in which individuals place high standards on others.

People experience these perfectionist traits to varying degrees. One person might score high on all three, or they might fall into one extreme or another such as self-oriented perfectionism.

The researchers found socially prescribed perfectionism was associated with poorer physical health, which in this case meant individuals experienced more symptoms of health problems, had more doctors visits, took more days off work, and gave themselves low scores when asked to rate their health.

On the other hand, self-oriented perfectionism was associated with better physical health.

So what’s behind this relationship?

One factor could be the degree to which people feel happy or sad, known in psychology as positive or negative affect. The 2006 paper showed general negative feelings, including feeling anxious and upset, could partially explain the relationship they saw between socially prescribed perfectionism and poorer health. And feelings of happiness explained self-oriented perfection's link with better health.

However, the pathway that connects perfectionism to health is likely more complex.

For instance, in more recent research, Molnar found self-imposed perfectionism conferred pros and cons with regard to health that canceled each other out.

"On one hand it was related to higher levels of stress in students, which was related to lower levels of health," Molnar said. "On the other hand it had a protective factor, because it was also related to lower levels of high risk behavior," which includes things such as smoking and drinking.

"You really have to look at the mechanism, not just looking at how perfectionism is directly related to health, but what pathways link it to health?" Molnar said. "Unless you look at the mechanism, a lot of the time [the effect] washes itself out because it will have opposing relationships."

Other factors

Those who feel others expect them to be perfect might also experience declines in health as a result of distancing themselves from other people, and any support from friends and family.

"We know social support is a huge indicator of physical health. If you tend to have strong bonds with people, good family life, good friendships, you tend to be healthier," Molnar said. "And we know socially prescribed perfectionists, they tend to have this sense of disconnection with other people, so it would make sense that one of the ways they would experience poorer health is because of this sense of social disconnection from others."

Even if others reach out to help, socially prescribed perfectionists may view the kind actions as critical.

"Even when the levels of received support, so the support they're actually getting, is the same, there's been some work showing that perfectionists will actually appraise it differently," Molnar said. "They don’t see it as nurturing and supportive, but that people are being critical of them, and they're interfering, they're perceiving that people aren’t there for them," she said.

Other perfectionists might hold off on asking for help altogether, because they don't want to let on that there's anything wrong, or that they're imperfect in some way.

"If you have to ask someone for help, well that means you're flawed, that means you're weak, right? And so I think there's also that presentation of not wanting to seem like you need help from others," said Fuschia Sirois, of the University of Windsor in Canada.

Poor health could also be the result of perfectionists leaving little time to care for themselves, while spending every minute striving for perfection, Sirois said.

Future work

More work is needed to untangle the intricate relationship between perfectionism and health.

For instance, few studies have examined perfectionism in older adults, which might be due to the incorrect notion that perfectionism eases with age, Fry said.

"We've gone along with the misconception that if people are perfectionistic in their earlier stages of life, that in late life their perfectionism sort of automatically tapers off, but it doesn’t tapper off," she said.

Perfectionism in the elderly is of particular concern because, although they still have the same high expectations, they are unable to perform as well, which could ultimately lead to greater depression and anxiety, Fry said.

Researchers should also focus on understanding exactly why perfectionism is associated with poorer health or better health, depending on the situation.

"Without knowing the whys we can't intervene, we can't help these people," Molnar said. "These people are walking around with incredibly unrealistic expectations ... they're not just striving for excellence, they're striving for absolute perfection, which of course is impossible. So they're setting themselves up for more failure experiences," she said.

"We have to start understanding what's going on in the middle so how can we help these people."

7.22.2010

Day 3 — Your parents

Dear Mom and Dad:


First off, let me apologize (specifically for mom) for the number of times that I've haven't been reaching your phone calls. Lately, my phone has been in random places around the house and I usually feel too lazy to bring it to practice (which when you coincidentally call) and when I usually do look at my phone, I assume it's too late at night to call back. Out of all these 'blog letters', I think I should show you two this. Ever since we moved to SF, I stopped communicating to you guys because I started to keep to myself during the times when grandma and grandpa where here and now it's really hard to try to express my feelings and thoughts to you two. Through out all of Elementary and Middle school, I constantly wondered why you two choose to move out to San Francisco (I hated it) but I understand now.
To be honest, I really envy the kids who have such a good communicative relationship with their parents because I wish we had a little more of that. However, I've been noticing that you two have been making more of an effort, such as making more calls, striking more conversations and I really appreciate it. I should make more of an effort as well but please know that it's just feels strange and awkward for me to speak up. I'm trying though.
Anyways, thank you for all the support you have given me. Even though we may not express it as much, I know how much you two care. It even makes me tear up thinking about it! Thank you for all the random car rides to practice/where ever, bringing me a LOT of food, giving me facials (even though i HATE extractions), constantly bugging me to wear sunscreen on my face, stopping by Berkeley to drop off something I forgot, dealing with the times when I ask you two permission to go somewhere about 1 hour before I actually head out or telling you i'd be home within an hour but ed up coming back like, three hours later, and all that good stuff.

There's one thing I will ask of you two though, please try to not be as hard on Joanna and constantly compare her to me. She has lived a different lifestyle than I have as a child and because of this, I'm sure it's a lot harder for her to deal with things. I'm also not really that 'star' student you two keep talking about to Joanna, I also struggled in school towards the end of elementary/beginning of middle school as well! I will note though, that I was much more well behaved but that's another issue to deal with.

Dad: Especially after today, Thank you so much for being there. Auntie Roseanne once said that my personality is a lot like yours at times, which I guess doesn't help with regards to us chatting it up but I think 'cooking lessons' give us a chance to really get to know each other. I hope you keep trying to strike conversations and I will be sure to try to do the same for you.
Also, I'm glad that I told you that I made dumplings yesterday =) Making them reminded me of you for teaching me how to make it and mom for the times when I would help her out.

Love,
Jennifer


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Random Tidbits:

Today I found out that Main Stacks will be making a choreo to "Angel on my Shoulder-Kaskade". *sigh* =(

My hamstring is also being weird. I hope I didn't pull it because I definitely felt a 'pop' during one of the sprints.

MCAT is less than a month now. Oh god. ._.

7.16.2010

Day 2 — Your Crush

Dear Mr. Eric Donn:

You are weird.

You also make silly faces and noises, have road rage worse than my dad (and thats saying a lot.), can be inappropriate at the worst moments, be immature, make me question your actual gender, make stupid decisions, look/act like a dinosaur, monkey, or GREAT TEACHER ONIZUKA, bite/hit me at the most random times, get easily stressed over DB stuff (okay fine i'm guilty as well.), won't let me enter 'cute asian' type stores despite my pouting, have an obsession with a band that made a song the Twlight movie series (forgot the name. muzz?), act as a third wheel and perhaps have one of the most unfortunate initials in the whole wide world.

and yet, I'm fine with that.

If you were stuck on an island with Muse and had an infinite amount of rum, black forest ham, bananas, acme bread, orange juice, ginger beer and niu rou mein you would be in paradise.

Thanks for dealing with my weirdness, weird noises, random moods, insecurities, "I'm hungry" statements, letting me watch you play my video game files/dealing with my fear and hatred of 'Game Over' screens, making fun of you with Muzz your 'inability to get up', food cravings, allowing me to experiment on you with TCM techniques and of course, the fact that I'm actually taller than you but choose to be space efficient.

That is all for now. :)


ICE CREAM!
-ha gow

Day 1 — Your Best Friend


Dear Jenn Hom (Green Jenn):
I usually don't like the idea of identifying only one person as a best friend but given how long we've known each other I'd like to say you fit the category. =P. When I first moved to California from Ohio, I was pretty hesitant to make new friends at Alamo. On my first day of school, you were the first person who pretty much came up and introduced yourself when I was wandering around the classroom and playground. Whether it was because we had the same first name or we had similar interests, we instantly became close friends. I still remember the times when I went to your mom's place in San Mateo when we partnered up for the Missionary project and we ended up swimming, when you and I both dressed up to be Mulan for Halloween or how we would have our own inside jokes such as THE FACE (we still do.). hehehe. Good times. I know we had a huge falling apart in middle school and then went our own ways in High school but I'm glad we reconnected here at Cal. As much we have our own opinions towards APO, I'm glad we pledged together or else we would have never reconnected or had as much fun with RHXD or Pcomm. =) It's crazy to say that we've known each other for ELEVEN years now and although we're both really busy, it's always nice when we have lunch or go out to the gym together and reconnect. It's also nice for ED and I to go on double dates with you and Chris. =)
A couple of weeks ago, I was pretty sad that you couldn't make it to the Dragonhouse party and I know you were pretty upset as well but it's totally understandable. I really hope you're not beating yourself up about it=/. Though I must say, that you have got to promise me that you will have to go to at least ONE dragonhouse/birthday party in the future, yeah? lol.

Love, Jen (Pink Jen)


For shits and giggles...

Dear Jay Kim,

Disregarding the previous letter, you are my best friend. I wish I could be as successful and famous as you, Butterfly T. I hope you have fun on your playdate with your EMT friends. Mary and I are so proud of you! :D :D

7.13.2010

Letters! yay!

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

7.04.2010

ugh. this whole fremont thing is so annoying and stressing.

------
Edit. 11 days later and I am quite amazed how our team never ceases to impress me. I believe a lot of us didn't have any expectations beforehand and yet we still managed to do pretty well. To be honest, the days leading up to Fremont were not fun to say at the least. Based on last years results, I was pretty hesitant for our team to go through another 'upsetting' race again. It was particularly annoying to experience moments where we could have a chance to do well in terms of preparing for Fremont (practices, money issues, logistics, car rides, etc.), then see it get hindered, which caused ED and I to almost doubt our team's potential. Clearly, we were wrong and I'm glad.
I am very proud of all the Cal 2 people who have been coming out to practice consistently and working hard. Y'all were in the 'big leagues' and got to experience how emotionally/physically intense DB can really be on race day.
That being said, Long beach isn't too far. It's time to step it up even more.

day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

Kascade-4am

Such an amazing song. I first heard of it on Pandora while studying for finals and it was pretty much on repeat during the summer.

It's even more amazing if you listen to it at night in the car, watching the city lights pass you by.

7.03.2010

day 29 – a song from your childhood

=)

I really liked listening to 'ah Sam' when I was really young. (I still do) My parents once told me that when I was a toddler, I would be happy when a song from Sam Hui played in the car and cried really loudly when Enya was on.

I hate Enya.

7.02.2010

day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty



OMG. THIS SONG IS ON (TWILIGHT) ECLIPSE AND ITS SOOO AMAZING!! ZOMGFJDSIHFDSOIFDSHIOFHDSIOFHSDOI.

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF MUSE BEFORE UNTIL TWILIGHT CAME ON. AHHH JACOB IS SO HAWT. TEAM JACOB 4EVA

lulz. Now I feel guilty for saying that.

7.01.2010

day 27 – a song that you wish you could play

George Gershwin-Rhapsody in Blue


Particularly the Clarinet solo in the beginning.

Sitting, Hiding, Waiting, Wishing

To be honest, I didn't really want to go back home today. After my wisdom tooth consultation, I had planned for heading straight back to Berkeley, struggling successfully at Land, seeing Dhouse people and waiting until the weekend to deal with the it but my parents had already planned for me to stay over and probably looked forward to it, judging on how dinner was like today. It's usually hard when my parents and I see my grandparents come back from HK, after weeks and months of peace and quiet slowly begin to turn to anger and resentment- at least between my dad and grandfather. Back then, things were really bad. If felt as if my parents and I were under constant surveillance by my grandfather and any little 'slip up' would result into an argument that would last for hours on end. As a result, I started to hide in my room more from middle through high school to avoid the conflicts. It was pretty much my sanctuary where I was able lay on my bed and look up at the glow-in-the-dark stars or go through the window onto the roof to get fresh air while music would blast through the speakers of the computer. Yeah. Pretty emo. That 'sanctuary' allowed me to keep things to myself without the need to cause any more conflicts while the computer was the only outlet for any resentment. Things are a lot better now on the surface (probably after a particular incident during the summer before attending Cal) but everytime I come and find my grandparents are back, there's always these repressed memories and just. sadness of what had happened before. I don't talk to my grandfather at all. Hell. We don't even acknowledge each other. I always greet my grandma and upon seeing him, just walk away and forget he was ever there. Actually, with the exception of my sister, nobody acknowledges him. Yeah, terrible, sad and disrespectful, I know. but when it comes to these things, it's just better for us to forget about each other. For me, it's just hard to move on. It's getting better now and I wish I had the courage to speak up at home but it's hard. What use to be a man who, in my eyes was big and extremely scary is now becoming older. weaker and smaller and I still have yet to overcome that fear that keeps me silent.

It's all about taking one step at a time, though I hope that time isn't running out.


On another note, I got the chance to make potstickers from scratch today. woot