LALA

No Money, No Honey.

Ah Yes. Teh Recession.We sure have heard of that for quite some time with the nation (not to mention California) in serious debt of over millions of dollars. To be honest, it didn't really bother me until recently, especially when I realized that the Governor might eliminate Cal Grants as a whole. While I am fortunate to have a substantial amount of scholarship money to help me through my years in College, those grants are still important. It really makes me sad to think of how education is constantly short-handed because of budget cuts. While our high school was pretty forunate to obtain money for being a 'technology' school with multiple macs and pcs, we still faced budget issues when it came to dealing with SFUSD (*ugh*). There was a moment when teachers were seriously considering going on strike for their income and one of my favorite teachers (who really made me appreciate the Chinese language and culture now) actually left the district because it didn't provide money for herself and family.
Anyways, as I was browsing the internet at home (in SF), I came across an article that described how many teachers in NYC who have been suspended from the school district are still being paid by the school district for essentially doing nothing.

"Hundreds of New York City public school teachers accused of offenses ranging from insubordination to sexual misconduct are being paid their full salaries to sit around all day playing Scrabble, surfing the Internet or just staring at the wall, if that's what they want to do." http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090622/ap_on_re_us/us_rubber_rooms

The first response in my head at that time was, "WHATTTHEF-."

Because the teachers collect their full salaries of $70,000 or more, the city Department of Education estimates the practice costs the taxpayers $65 million a year. The department blames union rules.


Does this even make sense? Here you have teachers who are getting paid thousands of dollars for doing NOTHING in one side of the country when you see amazing teachers get laid off just because of budget cuts or students from disadvantaged backgrounds chosing NOT to go to college just because they aren't offered additional financial assistance. Granted, this situation is in NYC and not in SF but I still feel there is an injustice in this.
When it comes to money for higher education, especially for socio-economical disadvantaged students, I am a firm supporter. I believe students who have parents who can easily pay through their college tuition are BLESSED. and if there's one thing that really frustrates me, it's to see parents who wastes thousands of dollars on their kid who didn't make use of education at a university or school. To hear of the Cal Grants potentially be reduced or even eliminated really makes me sad. Even if it's only a couple hundred or thousand of dollars, I know friends who really benefit from that amount. Granted, I believe there are a little things that the California Government could fix with the Gal grants (finding a better way to really determine eligibility instead of having a black and white cut off line) or lowering college tuition as a whole (oh man, Don't we all wish that were true..) but I really don't like the idea of making it harder for students to find ways to fund their education as it is hard already.

While I was sitting in the bart going back home, I realized how much money I have been spending for the past couple of days. It also doesn't really help to see that I have to pay $1,000 out of my own pocket for my biochem class (I swear, I BETTER do well for that class.) instead of having financial aid cover for it (Stupid 6 unit cap. I really didn't want to take two classes + commute back to SF again like last year) and that I've been carelessly spending money on random shit, not to mention oweing people. SIGH. It also doesn't help to see that unless I get a job sometime soon, I won't be able to get money until my financial aid comes out, which won't be til..Late August.

Man maybe I really do need to start working on the streets. hah.

Renewal

Today I was able to watch a surgeon perform a laminectomy on a patient in person.
I had to wake up super early to catch the muni/bart and freaked out for a little bit on the bart because I forgot to bring change for the muni so I had to get off at the Powell stop to go to a Bank of America ATM machine to get a $20 which I had to then go to a starbucks to buy something to get some change out of that bill. Anyways, I showed up a couple of minutes earlier than my supervisor so I was just hanging around and then when she finally came, I went across the street with her to the surgical floor in the General hospital building at UCSF. As the surgeons made an incision on the patient's back and made their way into the spine, I couldn't help but contain myself with wonder and excitment. A part of me inside gasped out of fascination and horror when the surgeon removed a couple of the lumbar pieces (SPINAL BONE!!!) of the patient. Anyways, I was filled with adrenaline through out and after the surgery and the midst of it, I realized that I have found something new that inspires me to pursue after medicine in the midst of the grades/competition/classes that I constantly face everyday here at Berkeley. As I looked at myself in the mirror with my scrubs on, I told myself that I would come back here again and wear those scrubs in the future and I am confident that I will.

I have never felt so inspired until now. For the past couple of days, or even semesters, I've been so insecure about whether I really wanted to pursue medicine because of my grades and the fact that there are classes in Berkeley that are really out to get you and screw you over (*cough* Chem3 series + Bio1A). I was also extremely insecure because I felt like I was making a goal that wasn't really realistic. Almost everyone around me who is a premed here at Berkeley had a specific speciality that they want to go into while I didn't. I originally wanted to go for Oncology but I realized how depressing it can be (and i'd be diving into a lot of personal issues there.). I considered pediatrics but I don't know if I would really want to deal with parents who are extremely concerned with their child (well, i mean that makes sense but after working at the fitting room with moms at forever 21 made me realize how unreasonably protective parents can be) and I didn't want to wake up in the middle of the morning to make house calls. I knew straight off from the bat that Medical School would be extremely expensive and hard to get into (and get through) Out of all of these factors, I was mostly concerned with the issue between dealing with my personal and work life. I always hear stories of doctors who struggle between their family and work. I remember how I was so amazed at this married couple of doctors who dated through medical school and residency and managed to effectively raise a family through out. (yeah. I know i'm getting way out of my head with this but you gotta weigh in the factors MAYNE!)

Anyways... I guess what I want to say is that I WILL try harder and not get discouraged by anything that may put me down personally or academically because I want to genuinely walk around the hospital floors as a physician now that I managed to get a first hand experience at it.

...Time to start studying for MCB102. YEE. (._.)