For you.

My earliest memory of you was when I was at Auntie's Roseanne's house with my parents for some dinner. I believe I was about 4 or 5; still pretty young. It was around that time when I knew I was adorable and I could get anything I wanted because according to my aunt, I was her princess. When I first met you, I couldn't help but think about how amazing you were. Always witty and doing all sorts of magic tricks for me. You had this smile that was SO genuine that I just had to be in your presence. Hearing the words "georgi ai-goong" made me smile and anticipate about how much fun we would have together. I remember visiting San Francisco for the first time when I was 8 and how Auntie and I would joke around about you being sent to Alcatraz because you took someone else's newspaper. You would just go in for the act and be totally scared about it just to make me laugh.
When I actually moved here a year later, things became different. It was a point where I was no longer a little girl and had to slowly grow up and do homework. Whenever you visited, you would remind me to finish my homework first before going off to hang out with you. It was that point of time when I started to become more secluded with all the BullShit my grandfather and parents were pulling and you were the first one to confronted me about it. At that time, I wanted to justify myself by saying that I was sick and tired of what went on but I kept my mouth shut. (Looking back at it, I'm glad I did. )

It's kind of unfortunate that my last memory of you was only a couple of years ago when you spent Chinese New Years with us and I told you of my plans for college and the amount of scholarships I applied for. I didn't really have enough time at that moment to hang out with you because I was so busy but I knew that on the day before you left, you put a letter on Grandpa's table stating your final goodbyes (because HE had huge arguement with you) and I got this chill thinking that it really was going to be the last time I would see you.

..And it was.

So I got a phone call from my little sister at 8 in the morning about this and I was speechless.
It was merely 4 words that left me extremely confused. Of all people, I didn't expect you to go away. At least not now. As funny as it may be, I had always imagined you to be immune to death or something because you had SUCH a strong presence.
While I didn't know you in your younger days, my auntie would always tell me about how amazing you were. Heck. My parents would say so as well.
I always looked forward to your visits and your presence and now..I can't seem to do so anymore.

For the rest of the day, I felt guilty because it felt like I didn't mourn over you as much as I should have. I will admit that part of the time it was hard trying to act like nothing happened. But looking back on it, you made my childhood extremely fun so I suppose that being happy and smiling for most of the time would have been a good way to commemorate you because I'm sure that's what you would have wanted it.

Rest in Peace and Happy Birthday 'Georgey Ai Goong'. <3