For future references

Jay: I'm guessing you're not into korean movies?
sigh
it's ok
I'll talk to someone els
Jennifer Woo: whattt
sorry
i was packing
mmm i'm okay
i want to see that korean movie with won bin hehehehe
Jay Kim: oh which one?
Jennifer Woo: OH you just talked about it in your blog!
the man from nowhere
Jay Kim: REALLY
Jennifer Woo: GAHH won bin is so hot.
Jay Kim: I KNOW RIGHTTTTT
Jennifer Woo: whoa. LOL
i didn't know you had a thing for Won bin.
Jay Kim: he's really ripped in the movie
Jennifer Woo: YEAHHH GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Jay Kim: just admiring him
Jennifer Woo: uh huh.

;).Jay Kim and I should start a Won Bin fanclub.

Moving On

Once again, another year will pass by. I've come to realize that as you grow older, time seems to fly a lot faster. I'm already a senior in college (FUCK) and still have absolutely no idea of what I want to do in the future. Yesterday night, I started to freak out over what to do this upcoming fall. Sure there's med school and all but I'm not going to apply until next year so it leaves this 'unknown' gap of what to do in the meantime. Looking back on the past couple of my undergraduate years, it kind of makes me sad that I've put off a lot of things that I should've done and instead just loiter around, but I digress. To be honest, I don't really know what to make of this year as it has been though a bunch of ups and downs. I can definitely say the ending has been bittersweet.
It still feels weird to not be in an official position for DB. I've become so used to constantly thinking of what to do for the team that not receiving logistical emails have been a bit obsolete. harhar. But I'm glad that I have now stepped down in the position because it feels like a bunch of weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
As for APO, I haven't really gone back since junior year due to prior obligations to DB and schoolwork (not to mention my predispositions to the way APO is organized). I do miss the random service and social events you go to with your small fam and I still reminisce on Hcomm <3. I'e considered coming back this next semester as a way to do something but we'll see how it goes.

I'm excited for going down to socal. I think this is the first time I've ever gone down with a bunch of friends (asides from DB LB competitions), particularly to go to TAO. WEEEE! :D. I'm also excited to meet up with Linan and Michael, as well as some good hs friends that will also be at TAO. I keep bugging Phil about it but I really want to check out Venice beach, especially the gym...and possibly work out there. lulz. Though it would be pretty weird and funny to see a small asian girl lift with a bunch of HUGE TALL MUSCLEY guys/girls but that's almost what I've been doing for the past year or so. Gosh. Look what DB has done.
I'll be sure to take lots of pictures. hehee
Speaking of pictures, I've been taking pictures of the arts and crafts I've been doing this past winter break. So far, I've made two big pillows (one DB related, another thats SUPER soft)and a stuffed doggy toy. I plan on making more as I will give them out as gifts so sit tight! I also plan on making a tokidoki munny and have been doing some rough sketches. :D

For the most part I managed to complete most of my resolutions. YEAH Three pull ups and I'm absolutely proud of our team for pwning at College cup. There are still some that I need to focus on again, such as study for the MCATS (May 26,2011. You're mine.) and find something to do this summer/fall. But I'm excited...well, maybe not the studying part.
Next semester is going to be a whole new path to take. I'm seriously considering volunteering at the Oakland animal shelter and trying out for a dance organization (or just taking classes). It will definitely be scary but I hope to have no regrets.

There's just no point in moping around and the only thing to do now is to look forward and smile :).

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Kitty

I want one more than ever now. :(.

Things to do during break:

1. -Hanging out with the typical 5 (haven't typed that in a while now)

-Pamper

-Hair cut/dye

-Nails with Jhom

-DB SF food day

-UCSF gym

-DB workout Goals

-4 pull ups

-Deadlift 150

-Squat 135

-Mile under 8:00

-Erg under 2:05

-Play games:

-Fallout 3

-Fallout NV

-Red Dead Redemption

-Epic Mickey

-TRY to play/learn games:

-TF2

-Portal

-SC2

-Tea/Dimsum day with Joyce and Siu wei

-Start on applications:

-Study Abroad in HK or China

-TCM School

-Research

-Watch

-Top Chef All Stars

-HIMYM

-Dexter

-Teach sister how to play volleyball

-Learn more cooking recipes from dad

-ORGANIZE AND CLEAN BOTH ROOMS.

-Finish DB team notebook and give to Zach

-Go to SOCAL

-Dance

-Try and convince parents to get a kitty.

-Volunteer

-Oakland or Berkeley Animal Shelter

-Smile. Get stronger physically and emotionally. Move on.

SHOP.

Buy pull up bar?

Want to know a secret?

I have a tumblr.

try and find it :)

Lets pretend to be Korean for a moment now.

Clazziquai-After love

어느날 문득 우연한 날에
눈을 떠 보면 낯설어진 얼굴들
흔한 얘기들 흔한 오해들
그렇게 흘러 가버린 내 기억들

and now I am searching one living chance
너를 위한 나의 잦은 눈물도
그리운 날들에 웃음마저
다시는 없나 After love

무슨 말이든 찾고 싶어도 유치한 몇 마디 밖에는 없어서
오랫동안 난 얼마나 너를 믿으려 애를 썼는지
넌 내 목소리마저 잊어 가겠지

and now I am searching but I can't
지워지려 했던 너의 얼굴도
눈을 감으면 다시 찾아와
나를 부르네 After love

and now you touch me and now you move me
I am dreaming everynight come on baby
Can't never let you go go go

전하지 못한 내 늦은 후회를
넌 그저 우습게만 듣고 있겠지
오랫동안 난 얼마나 너를 지우려 애를 썼는지
이제는 꿈에서라도 안되겠지

and now I am searching one living chance
너를 위한 나의 잦은 눈물도
그리운 날들에 웃음마저
다시는 없나 After love

and now I am searching but I can't
지워지려 했던 너의 얼굴도
눈을 감으면 다시 찾아와
나를 부르네 After love

smilesmilesmilesmilesmilehappyhappyhappyhappyhappy

How am I supposed to look at you in the eye and tell you everything's okay? It's not. But I appreciate the gesture.

Today's physio lecture was ridiculous. After 10 minutes of lecture, we did evaluations for the two professors and GSIs with the professor still in the room, which took like 20 minutes. Once we started lecture again, his macbook battery died and he had to run back to LSA to get his charger. All in the mean time, these two girls behind Phil and I were chatting away during lecture and this one girl kept unintentionally kicking my chair. If you're going to keep chatting during lecture then what is the fucking point of showing up? UGH

To top it all off, there was a 'forever alone' meme drawn on the chalkboard.

Best. Morning. Ever.

Not.

I am so fucking distracted right now.

I CANT STUDY GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You know, I'm totally fine with studying the Chinese portion of tea because I'm pretty familar with all the dynasties and the history of China but the Japanese section is like WTF. Why does tea have to be so philosophical for you people?! BAHHHHHHHH

Everytime I read about Furuta Oribte makes me think of Juan Uribe and think, "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBRIBE' in my head.

//end rant.

Amazing

1st in Womens Championship

1st in Mens Championship

1st in Sprints

2nd in Div A (Cal 1)

2nd in Div B (Cal2)

To spend one night to really gather all the thoughts I have on this day and just comparing it to all the past races is really not enough. Every time I think about how far we've gone from that dreaded day at College cup just brings tears to my eyes.

To those who have been on this team for a while now, I thank you all for all the amazing memories. I can't imagine how life would be like without calDB.

Saying 'I Love You' to you all really isn't enough Cal.

On another note, winning the Women's final and then immediately drumming the men's final (which we won) was perhaps one of the most epic experiences I've ever had with regards to paddling.

luke: you have done a tremendous job jen, in the end the story of this team's revival is about you, ED, phil, vincent, jas, not me or the canadian

me: no i'm pretty sure you're included in this

without you, our team would have never been able to get that bump or i guess

douchiness. we needed it. lol

luke: hahaha i might have helped add a bit of swagger, but really your generation led this

me: hahah

thanks luke

that really means a lot

luke: im glad, you deserve so much credit

you have been the one constant in all of this

me: lol

i'm just amazed at how far this team has gone

luke: yeah it been quite the change, last in everything, to first in all of it

talk about a turnaround hahaha

Seriously. What an epic fucking turnaround.

Speechless

"I think it's a woman thing: We're taught that there are some things that you should never say to a man-- never expose your flaws, never explain your fears, and certainly never ask for anything more. ..

I've asked friends going through difficult relationship times if they ever talk to their partner about their desires and fears and what they want out of said relationship, and I've gone through that same process of being guilty of not doing it, too. We women never say these things, because we like you so much that if it doesn't go over well, we don't want to lose you or the relationship totally, because as very wise yet very desperate people once said, something is better than nothing. But how much of "something" is better than us feeling like we're taken by our partners as a "nothing"? "

Swallowing your pride and fear to say things like these can be difficult, but it has to be done. Just like how you can't get mad at someone for doing something if you've never spoken to them about it, you also can't expect things to change or get better or magically rectify themselves if you never bring the issue up.

The writer of this blog is my hero. It amazes me how she writes so well, has gone through a lot of experiences and is as old as I am. A highly recommended blog to read if you're a girl and you want some advice or entertainment. :)

On another note, really SF? Seriously? Removing the happy meal toy isn't going to help as much as having GOOD PARENTING SKILLS on teaching what your kid should or shouldn't eat. I loved getting the happy meal toys when I was little, especially the beanie baby ones. This is just like banning junk foods in SF high schools. SO DUMB.

WE MADE IT.

You can definitely tell when it's midterm season when the living room and the hallways of dragonhouse are quiet at night. Normally, we're all either watching some random TV show (or ESPN) or the guys in dhouse resort to playing smash. Anyways, I finished my second round of midterms last week so I've been just vegging out but it feels weird that everyone else is engrossed with studying at the moment. I feel like Jay. harhar.

Have you ever had any moments where the food you make just makes you happy because it reminds you of home? This is one of them :).

Seeing that it was Tuesday, I was feeling pretty creative and noticed I had some frozen fish/shrimp and bokchoy laying around. I decided to go and make a dish with it, something that my parents usually make or buy at a restaurant. I got some rice wine (YEAHHHH 21. Though the guy at Berkeley bowl didn't card me and I kind of wished he did) mixed it in some cornstarch w/ soy sauce and marinated the seafood. Then chopped up some garlic, ginger and green onion which was sauteed with oil. Anyways, I made stir fry Seafood bokchoy and RICE. Yes. Rice. Are you shocked as I am?

Blogging slump

These past couple of weeks have been a been a bit of a blogging slump in a sense that I'm either too distracted/busy/ to mention whatever has happened or I'm too lazy to do so. Sorry about that. harhar. For now, here is a list of the things that's happened so far

1) Giants have gotten into the World Series! YEEEEEEE!

2) For the most part, I can do 2 pull ups (struggling.) and 3 chin ups. I'm pretty sure I can do more chin ups but haven't really gotten the chance to find my max because my ring finger starts hurting. But HEY! YAY for following through with a resolution! :D

3) My grandparents have just left for HK. It's kind of sad that the only time I got to see them was about two weeks ago when I stopped by home to visit a TCM open house.

4) When I visited back home, the weirdest thing happened where my Grandfather said hi. We haven't spoken to each other for at least 4 years now, prior to leaving for College.

5) Senior year scares me. I don't want to graduate yet. -_- That being said, Phil and I have constructed a bucket list of things to do before we graduate. It's still in the works but this is what we have so far..

- Visit the Campanile

- Go to a Cal Football game NOT THROUGH CONCESSIONS

- Go to Big C

- Get drunk, reserve a room in stacks and party during finals. really.

- Go to 900 Grayson.

Anyone care to join? :)

2 down, 2 more to go

As of this moment, Kaskade is the only thing that motivating me to pull through the rest of the week.

I also can't believe it's only Tuesday. This week feels so long. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..-_-

School mode

4 midterms the week after TI. Sigh.

On the bright side, I really like my classes (Especially physio) this semester.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

FUN FUN FUN FUN

Kitties..=(

Ever since the beginning of the summer, I've been stopping by Your Basic Bird (pet store a block away from Dragonhouse) to oogle at the adoptable kittens/cats on display from Hopalong shelter. There's something about playing with the kittens that makes you forget about everything and take joy upon their little encounters playing with each other or any random string/toy you throw upon it. But then, I start to feel sad whenever I see the kittens, especially if they've been there for more than 2 weeks and start to have an urge to want to take them home for myself. Yesterday after MCB136, I decided to stop by the pet store again and play with the two tuxedo kittens. While doing so, a man comes in with two bags and asked the store clerk about surrendering a cat and her 5 kittens. Due to legal issues, the store clerk could not accept them because the cat was claimed to be 'lost' by the man (though it was actually his) and it could be someone else's. The mother was a white cat with striped spots and her kittens displayed the same marks. Since it was an especially hot day, I felt extremely bad for the kittens because they were placed in what was pretty much a black duffle bag with a small openings for them to breathe. For the first time, I had never seen kittens actually panting like a dog because it was so hot. Also, I have never seen so many fleas (blegh) on a pet. Having a desire to own a kitty for myself, I went over to the man and asked about what he was going to do with the kittens. I told him that I lived a block away from the pet store and offered to help him out since he really didn't want to give them away to a shelter. Another lady came to help out as well and eventually they started to give away the kittens to people who came by. I can't tell you how BADLY I wanted to keep the kittens, especially this one kitten that was all white but had a tabby spot on her forehead. I was so desperate that I decided to bring one of the kittens in to dragonhouse temporarily and upon entering the house, Phil was in the kitchen chuckling that I brought home a kitty. ED came down and despite jumping around and pleading, I knew deep down that we couldn't keep them. Ultimately, we had to give them back to the owner and wished him the best in finding owners for the kittens.

I spent the next two hours moping about the kittens..

I always had this frustration about wanting a pet but couldn't due to house/academic/random reasons. Before moving to SF, we had to leave Bobo behind with my Aunt because we couldn't bring him over. In high school, my dad decided to adopt another cat, Lulu but we had to give it away because there was too much drama with my grandpa against it. Then there was pretty and fatty which, i would've LOVED to adopt but I know my parents couldn't possibly deal with my grandpa/ I don't know how my roommates would've dealt with it. Of course, I understand the implications and responsibilities of owning a pet. It's just sad to know that there are so many animals out there that could be rescued but you can't do so yourself because of limitations.

GAH! I really should volunteer at the pet shelter.

*self note* Bodyweight squats= no weights...

Seriously, who the hell automatically thinks that you don't need to use weights with 'bodyweight squats'? ..-_-

Yesterday's workout consisted of a series of lat pull downs, barbell squats, rows, and a complex of 5 sets of 15 bodyweight squats then 12 back lunges as fast as possible. Being the smurt girl that I am, I thought bodyweight squats= squatting with almost your weight (105-110) on the squatting rack....balls. -_-....I thought my legs were going to die.

However, my legs aren't as sore as I thought they'd be. My shoulders are more sore though.

Last night, I finally got the chance to see 500 Days of Summer (YAY Justin!). I really enjoyed the movie as you could really put yourself in either Tom's or Summer's shoes when reflecting upon past/current relationships. It reminds yourself how unpredictable relationships and in essence, life can be. One moment, you might tell yourself that you'll only date a specific 'type' of guy and in the next, you might be head over heels over someone you never expected to pay attention to. Also, I don't think Summer is a bitch. It seems like in every breakup, there's usually always the 'victim' and the 'bitch' based on whose side you take upon. While I genuinely felt bad for Tom, you can't blame Summer for being realistic and upfront about her feelings, which sometimes I wish I had the balls for that.

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 21

I wish I was actually there to have heard this. SICKKKKKKKKKKKK. If you've ever watched the Jabbawockeez performance on the ABDC All Star Charity episode, you would probably be familar with this song. I really like the remixes that the Bangerz make.

If there were ever two organizations/clubs I wish I had joined at Cal, it would definitely be Cal Taiko or Movement/any dance group. I guess I still have one more chance to join but we'll see how school goes. That being said, I only have one more semester left as captain. WWWhOOOAaAaAAAAAAAA!!! I can't wait.

I am finally of legal age. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. These past couple of days have been filled with a lot of drunken hyperness, which I'm sure will last on through out the week. Last night, ED, Mary and I went to Thalassa to celebrate and was offered various drinks from the bartenders for turning 21. The drinks were delicious (with the exception of that burbon whisky/redbull bomb) and the night ended up with Mary and I screaming through the car window at incoming freshmen at 2 in the morning and massive amounts of giggling/hyperness back at Dragonhouse. Sorrryyyy Jayyyyy! ><>

Today was the first time I've ever gone to Caltopia. =O! Despite what everyone said with regards to the free stuff being of lesser quality after each year, I got quite a bit of stuff. Perhaps it was also because I was pretty lucky at spinning the wheels/it was my birthday. YAYY

Phil and I first stopped by the Muscle Milk booth and I did 55 girl pushups to get a free tshirt and muscle milk. WOOT. While doing the push ups, it seemed like people around were pretty surprised that a small asian girl in a skirt was doing push ups so quickly. B]. Doing pushups to win something isn't bad, but doing pull ups is something else. o_o; We went to other booths and managed to get quite a bit of free stuff, including a milkshake from Frealz (oh goodness, i can't take the name seriously.) Milkshakes, a slice of pizza from Extreme pizza and a sample of soup from SF soup company. :D I won a reallyyy nice bag from the levis booth and played with various video games. Towards the end, I signed up to get a makeup consultation by the Paul Mitchell design team and actually ran into Juls working there. crazzzzyyyyy. She was busy with another girl but the guy who did my make up offered to do my hair as well. :D :D

(I don't think I've had this much make up/hair styling before. So seeing it was very strange )

Afterwards, I went back to SF to enjoy a really nice dinner and a yummy cake. While eating the cake, my parents noticed that my arms have gotten bigger, my face is rounder and started to call me fat. Thanks. -_-. I'm pretty sure my arms aren't bigger because of an increased amount of adipose tissue though....god damnit.

bitchrantrantbitchrantbitch

Today at 1:05 am I am reminded of how fucking ridiculous middle school assignments can be. Teachers, don't fucking assign shit for your students just so they have homework if it doesn't even help them learn the subject you're teaching. Fucking ridiculous.

Also wordsearch puzzles are meant to be FUN not to fucking painstakingly trick you.

-_- I want sleep.

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Dear Mom:

Back then, I still remember the times when you would workout in the morning dressed in spandex tights and bands like those fitness ladies you see on tv during the 80s and I would just jump around imitating your actions, thinking it was strange and slightly funny to do so. Sometimes we would walk around the lake, look at the baby geese, ducklings and swans swimming around and attempt to chase/catch them ( Once a duckling started to think I was the mother and started to follow us around. ><) We used to gossip about my endeavors at school like when a particular boy and I were dared to kissed each other on the cheek in front of all the second graders after school or how I was the only girl who was in the 'football club' composed of a bunch of rowdy yet funny third grade boys but still loved to play with barbie dolls and house with the girls. Yeeeup. I was a player back then. B]. lol jk.

We started to talk to each other less once we moved and even more so when dad got sick and you became the primary breadwinner for our family. Once I started high school, the only times we'd talk to each other would be when you would tell me to go to sleep earlier or go on your whole 'don't get a boyfriend or else you'll pretty much ruin your life' schpeel -_-. It always bothered me how I had to lie to you about who I was hanging out so you wouldn't give me that look of disapproval whenever I hung out with a group of boys, which I did often. Instead of hanging out with 'Jessica' 'Jordan (girl)' and 'Tiffany', it really would be 'John' 'Jordan (boy)' and 'Adam'.

Anyways, I've noticed that we've been trying to talk to each other more and I'm really glad about that. I'm sorry that I usually miss your calls -_-. Most of the time, the phone is in another room and by the time I notice your call, it's late at night. I'm also sorry that I'm not as fluent in Cantonese as I could be. I really wish we could have that type of mother daughter relationship where we could just tell each other EVERYTHING like we used to but if you could trust me and the decisions I make with regards to school, dating and the people I hang out with, I'd feel a lot more comfortable.

Thanks for everything though.

Love,

Jennifer

puahah

Was browsing around people's blog and found Thuan's entry to be so true that I just had to repost it. lol

"last night, i realized relationships are lot like video games. as you reach higher levels, there are bigger obstacles and more powerful bosses to defeat. except in most video games, you can start over. in relationships, you can’t really delete failed battles and screw-ups from your memory card. "

TRUTH.

I still don't like losing to bosses/dying in video games.

Unclutter

Have you ever had those days where you feel like no matter how much you try and clean, your room still feels very cluttered and messy? I do almost everytime I come back to SF. Everywhere I look in my room, I see random books (MCAT, random Science textbooks, MANY notebooks novels, childrens books, books I didn't even know I had,etc), stuffed toys, plastic toys from my sister and just pens all around. Before my sister starts middle school, I'm going to try and tidy this place up, make it a lot more organized and hope my sister could keep it nicely organized.

When I was younger, my mom used to take me shopping at malls and random department stores a lot. Back then, I hated shopping, especially in places like Ross because their racks would be extremely messy. Being completely bored and bothered by the mess, I would go and organize random things around the store; the watches section, toys, etc. My mom thought it was pretty strange and I'm sure others found it to be as well but it was something to do instead of just standing around and waiting. haha. When I think back to it, I've realized that I usually feel compelled to clean other people's spaces or common areas when I start to notice how cluttered it is but usually don't clean my own space unless it gets in the way of my studying.

Sooner or later, this room is going to be my sister's and perhaps by accepting that, I'm starting to feel more compelled to clear and throw out the clutter that surrounds my room.

I'm going to miss it.

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

To any doctor who specializes in Western and Chinese medicine:

I don't really know if you exist but if you do, please teach me your ways. How do you even practice on your patients with two different types of philosophies?! I'm really intrigued by both specialties and have been having a hard time deciding which path I want to take. As the MCAT trolls along, I honestly don't know if I'm making the right decision to go ahead with applying for the traditional AAMC schools first or go and take a 'break' by getting a masters in Chinese medicine. The MCAT score can only last for three years and if I plan it right, I can take the MCAT in Jan instead and apply for TCM school in the meantime. I've realized that I'm pretty fortunate that my parents are fine with whatever path I take as a career but I'm not so sure about my Aunt. Anyways, I wish I could meet you and discuss the possible options I could take because I doubt there's anyone on campus that could really help me out. =/.

sigh.

Thanks,

Jennifer

http://medicinesocialjustice.blogspot.com/2009/09/are-we-training-physicians-to-be.html

" But old traditions die hard; when biochemistry is valued more than ethics (and of course it is, because this is what you are tested on and your grades are based on both in school and your National Board exams); when being knowledgeable about the lab tests and x-rays is valued more than knowing the patient (and it often is by clinical teachers); when getting the work done is more important than understanding what work the patient wants done (and it very frequently is), it is hard to change."

Seriously. I don't understand why there's so much of a focus on grades and academics when in reality it should be more on compassion, committment and how you can apply the things you've learned to treat a patient, not just regurgitating random facts and information on a piece of paper. Meh.

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Dear Angry Asian Man:

I really like reading your blog. =) I pretty much go on it everyday to check up on any new updates with regards to Asian american news.

Keep up the good work!

Jen

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

I'm sorry.

GAHHHH

There are a lot of things I want to do right now.

For example, I'd like to be 21 already or go to see Kaskade.

But I can't think about that right now. Must study. =(

oogotairoo (7:20:49 PM): http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6bmyovW6j1qanb21o1_500.png

oogotairoo (7:20:51 PM): hehehhe

dunb0thameimetin (7:21:50 PM): lol

dunb0thameimetin (7:21:52 PM): chem nerd

oogotairoo (7:22:01 PM): hey, you got it

dunb0thameimetin (7:23:06 PM): lol true

dunb0thameimetin (7:23:09 PM): took me a second

dunb0thameimetin (7:23:15 PM): at first i thought it was just a mean guy

oogotairoo (7:23:15 PM): lol

dunb0thameimetin (7:23:17 PM): stealing

dunb0thameimetin (7:23:19 PM): lol

dunb0thameimetin (7:23:29 PM): then i saw the labels

dunb0thameimetin (7:23:30 PM): and i loled

oogotairoo (7:23:41 PM): wel i mean i guess you could say that chlorine is pretty mean

oogotairoo (7:23:51 PM): because it's just one away from being happy

dunb0thameimetin (7:27:27 PM): i suppose

dunb0thameimetin (7:27:32 PM): or you could say that sodium

dunb0thameimetin (7:27:34 PM): is one away from being

dunb0thameimetin (7:27:36 PM): EMOOOOOOO

dunb0thameimetin (7:27:40 PM): he only has one toy :[

dunb0thameimetin (7:27:42 PM): lol

oogotairoo (7:28:00 PM): =(

dunb0thameimetin (7:28:11 PM): i wouldn't wanna be sodium

oogotairoo (7:28:15 PM): me neither

dunb0thameimetin (7:28:16 PM): constantly worry about being mugged

oogotairoo (7:28:29 PM): i'd like to be flourine

oogotairoo (7:28:35 PM): so i can very attractive.;)

dunb0thameimetin (7:28:39 PM): lol

oogotairoo (7:28:44 PM): *be

dunb0thameimetin (7:28:50 PM): or you could be oxygen

dunb0thameimetin (7:28:54 PM): less attractive

dunb0thameimetin (7:28:57 PM): but less volatile!

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:10 PM): actually oxygen is pretty corrosive too

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:16 PM): I wanna be LEAD

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:19 PM): so i can be fat and heavy

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:20 PM): lol

oogotairoo (7:29:21 PM): lol

oogotairoo (7:29:22 PM): wow

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:23 PM): wait

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:25 PM): that's assface

oogotairoo (7:29:28 PM): yeah

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:41 PM): Ed should be gold

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:45 PM): or something sparkley

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:51 PM): like his emo pale vampire self

dunb0thameimetin (7:29:52 PM): hahahahaha

oogotairoo (7:30:03 PM): lol

oogotairoo (7:30:09 PM): would jay be sodium then?

oogotairoo (7:30:16 PM): or potassium

oogotairoo (7:30:19 PM): because he's korean?

dunb0thameimetin (7:30:34 PM): hahaha

dunb0thameimetin (7:30:43 PM): hydrogen!

dunb0thameimetin (7:30:45 PM): he's a little guy!

oogotairoo (7:30:54 PM): but that means jay is everywhere

oogotairoo (7:30:56 PM): o_o

dunb0thameimetin (7:31:03 PM): o true

oogotairoo (7:31:05 PM): he bonds everything together then

dunb0thameimetin (7:31:08 PM): he should be radioactive

dunb0thameimetin (7:31:16 PM): cause we know north koreans are secretly developing nukes anyways

Wow.

Holy shit. It's crazy to see someone you knew from way back then who's making a name for themselves out on youtube or where-ever and it makes you wonder if they still remember you. o_o

Asides from the whole wisdom tooth business, home was been pretty chill. Most of my time has been spent either studying, coughing, sleeping or eating jook. (Mostly eating jook and coughing) This morning, I went with my parents to walk around the Japanese Tea Garden since it's free in the mornings. I also got to play around with my dad's CanonD90. The menu was set to Chinese so it took a while to figure out what things were. I haven't been to the tea garden since I was 9 or 10 so going back was pretty interesting. Afterwards, we went to have dimsum on clement street, which was exciting because it was the kind of food that I've had that WASNT jook but still pretty depressing seeing that I was only limited to soft foods. -_-. My dad wanted me to practice driving and parallel parking so we did that for a bit. Wasn't too bad. For once, I actually want to practice driving again.

On another note, the AAMC financial aid process is definitely not my friend. >=O.

I'm not the only one who read it wrong right?

oogotairoo (10:16:46 PM): http://www.8asians.com/2010/08/01/asian-men-have-the-highest-salary/

dunb0thameimetin (10:16:54 PM): YES

dunb0thameimetin (10:16:58 PM): MORE REASONS TO DATE ASIAN MEN

dunb0thameimetin (10:17:00 PM): GO ME

oogotairoo (10:17:08 PM): ..o_o

dunb0thameimetin (10:17:37 PM): lol

oogotairoo (10:17:40 PM): not blatant at all

dunb0thameimetin (10:17:40 PM): for being an asian man!

oogotairoo (10:18:38 PM): i don't think what you just said meant to what i thought you said

oogotairoo (10:18:51 PM): i thought you meant

dunb0thameimetin (10:18:52 PM): whaaa?

oogotairoo (10:19:01 PM): "YES. MORE REASONS (for me) TO DATE ASIAN MEN"

dunb0thameimetin (10:19:03 PM): what you think i mean

dunb0thameimetin (10:19:04 PM): oh

dunb0thameimetin (10:19:05 PM): no

dunb0thameimetin (10:19:05 PM): loll

dunb0thameimetin (10:19:15 PM): GOSH HOW GAY DO YOU THINK I AM

dunb0thameimetin (10:19:17 PM): don't answer

dunb0thameimetin (10:19:18 PM): lol

RIGHT?! o_0

Day 6 — A stranger

Dear Stranger:

Hello. Nice to meet you. =) I hope my post-wisdom-tooth state didn't scare you as I was pretty much KOed from the extraction.

Jen

Self note:

Vanilla Nut Martini Cupcake:

http://alannasvanillabean.blogspot.com/2008/02/cupcake-hero-vanilla-nut-martini.html

Frangelico + Vanilla Vodka= Best combination EVER.

Cupcakes:

2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter or margarine
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup Frangelico

Icing:
3 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup butter or margarine
5 T whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla
vanilla bean

In a medium bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt; set aside. In a large mixing bowl, beat butter and brown sugar until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Alternately add 1/3 of the flour and all of the buttermilk, then 1/3 of the flour and all of the Frangelico, beating well after each addition. Add remaining flour; mix until smooth.

Line regular or mini muffin cups with baking papers. Fill each 2/3 full. Bake at 375ºF for 14-16 minutes or until muffins test done. Cool in pans for 5 minutes. Remove and cool completely.

For frosting, beat powdered sugar and butter in a small mixing bowl. Scrape out vanilla beans and stir in into sugar mixture until they're evenly distributed. Add whipping cream and vanilla, beat until smooth. Add remaining cream if needed to reach spreading consistency. Spread over cooled cupcakes.

Yield: 24 regular or 48 mini cupcakes.

http://slush.wordpress.com/2008/03/03/the-booziest-cupcake-of-them-all/

(Also make Tiramisu cup cakes..and possibly Rum Punch Cupcake for youknowwho.)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Dear Dreams:

You're weird. I wish I could remember more about you. When I was about to be put to sleep today from my wisdom teeth extraction, I started to think about Inception and how crazy it would be that was the method to induce people go to sleep; that instead of actually getting my teeth pulled, my dreams would be broken into. O_O

Oh well. Everything will be okay as long as Mary Cheung and I are able to go into Jay Kim's dreams... Whoops. =x

Love,

Jen

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Dear Joanna: (PG13 version)

Oh Joanna. There are so many things I want to write to you about that I think if I actually mentioned it all in here, it would take way too long to read. It has also taken me a long time to figure out what to really say.

Yesterday, I was very disappointed in you when dad told me that you took $300 from mom without her knowing and spent $60 of it on getting 2 club penguin memberships, which you already have. (wtf. i know.) I don't even understand what made you THINK of the idea of taking that much money to get something you already have. As much as I hate to break it to you, you're growing up Joanna. From here on out, things aren't going to be easy and you can't just get anything you want without working for it. I know you don't like working on the Super Workbooks that mom gives you; heck, i HATED it. But you know what, it's honestly not as bad once you set some time for it and before you know it, you'll be done with those wretched workbooks. Mom gave you an option to earn money by completing those workbooks but instead you chose to steal. I honestly don't know what made you think it was okay to do that. But whatever. Hopefully you understand what you did and why it was wrong. But as I said before, you're about to come to an age where confusion is all over the place. To be honest, I didn't like it. In fact, I don't think a lot of people do but it's a passage you need to take before you become an actual teenager or even an adult. You probably won't get a chance to read this anytime soon but I will say this now: middle school sucks. Everybody thinks they're the shit and that they're a lot older than they really are. You might find some people who will intentionally pick on you just because they want to or some people who may think that you're not 'one of the popular kids' or even 'friends' who force you to do 'cool' things that you really shouldn't do, like cutting school, taking drugs, or even having sex. Presidio Middle school is rough kiddo, but I will guarantee you that you will find some people who you will actually consider to be friends, even best friends. Those people will definitely laugh, cry and smile with you through out the whole course of middle school and who knows, you might even keep in touch with them for the rest of your life. How crazy is that? Don't worry if you get into a fight with one of your friends. Sure, it's not the greatest but you never know how your paths will be like later in the future. Also, it's not the end of the world if you end up not having a boyfriend in middle school or if you do and break up. When I was in middle school, I remember this one couple, (lets call them Vince and Andrea ) who started dating through out 6-8th grade. They were voted 'Cutest Couple' and everybody honestly thought they would've been together forever. It turned out that they quickly broke up in high school. I'm not trying to say that all middle school relationships don't last forever but just know that it could happen. On another note, if I find out that you DO have a boyfriend and mom and dad are okay with it, I'm going to flip a jonsu -_-. (freaking overprotective parents.....)

Speaking of Mom and Dad, I hope you realize the things they do for you is for the good. Back then, I didn't understand it and I really didn't like how mom would constantly bother me to finish the stupid Super Workbook or correct me on my mistakes. Also, dad scared the shit out of me (he still occasionally does.) whenever I did something bad. If you ever get in trouble with Mom or particularly with Dad, just know that there really is a reason for it. And stop stalling when they tell you to do something. It's pretty annoying when you tell someone to do something and you know that they're just dicking around. Back when I was you age or even younger, I honestly didn't think there was a problem for mom to tell me to do something instead of not doing whatever she wanted me to do ahead of time. The thing is, mom really wants you to figure out how to do things for yourself and not have her nag at you multiple times. If you do that, then things will definitely get a lot easier. It sucks but just suck it up. Sooner or later, you're going to be like me, a 20 year old who kind of misses being your age.

On another note, the teachers at PMS are tough. Trust me. But it'll be fine as long as you make sure you finish your homework ON TIME and don't stay up too late. If for some reason, you happen to mess up academically, it's also not the end of the world. As much as people may think, not getting into Lowell isn't the end of the world (It also certainly isn't the best HS in sf. GALILEO IS. HAHHH). As long as you realize your mistakes, work hard to get into a good university and ultimately, are happy with your choices, i'm fine with that.

I also really hope you don't get Ms. Cockburn as your science teacher. She's a real beezy. ugh.

You have a lot of things going for you, Joanna. Now is the time where you're going to have the chance to make decisions for yourself. I'll be here alongside and support you through the way as long as you at least THINK about your choices, decisions and whatever consequences that may come with it.

Love,

Jennifer

Cute.

“I’m not much of a love poet.

But if I woke up tomorrow morning and decided I really wanted to write about love, my first poem would be about you. About how I love you the same way i learned how to ride a bike.

Scared… but reckless. With no training wheels or elbow pads so my scars can tell the story of how I fell for you.

I’m not much of a love poet. But if I was, I’d write about how I see your face in every cloud and your reflection in every window. You see I’ve written a million poems hoping that somehow you’d jump out of the pages and be closer to me because if you were here. Right now.I’d massage your back so your skin sings songs that your lips don’t even know the words to. Until your heartbeat sounds like my last name. And your smile, like the Pacific Ocean, I want to drink the sunlight from your skin.

If I was a love poet I’d write about how you have the audacity to be beautiful even on days when everything around you is ugly. I’d write about your eyelashes and how they are like violin strings that play symphonies every time you blink. If I was a love poet I’d write about how I melt in front of you like an ice sculpture every time I hear the vibration in your voice. So whenever I see your name on the caller ID, my heart plays hopscotch inside of my chest and it climbs onto my ribs like monkey bars and I feel like a child all over again.

I know this sounds strange, but every now and then, I pray to God that he turns you back into one of my ribs just so I never have to spend an entire day without you.

And I swear I’m not a love poet.
But if I was, my first poem would be about you.
And after all of that, she was like, “So how do you feel about me?” *lulz*
I said, “Let’s put it like this. I want to be your ex-boyfriend’s stunt man. I wanna do everything he never had the courage to do. Like.. trust you.”

Honestly, when our lips touch, I can taste the next 60 years of my life.

And some days, I want to swallow stacks of your pictures just so you can be a part of me just for a little bit longer. If I could, I would sample your smile and I would let my heart beat through the bass line and we could create the greatest love song of all time whenever we stand next to each other. Love, I was the only one made for you. And you, you could be “At Last” by Etta James, and I could be “Ohh Child When You’re in Pain” or you could be “Candy Coated Drops of rain” even though it never rains in Southern California.

And together. Me and you. We could be music. And when my friends ask if you’re my girlfriend, I would say “No, she, she is my musician, and me, I guess you could say, I’m her favorite song.”

Yeah I'm not that great at writing these letters.

Sort of. I've been having a hard time trying to figure out what to say to Joanna. Aka. Jay Kim. Aka. my younger sister.

Anyways, I just got back home in SF from Dragonhouse. Its pretty sad whenever anyone of us leaves dragonhouse to go back home or goes somewhere else for an extended period of time. Since my parents were down in LB, I didn't go with the rest of the team back up to Berkeley and frankly, it made me sad. Anyways, my family and I went to Universal Studios and it would've been extremely fun if it weren't for the fact that I was pretty exhausted from the two days of racing and was starting to feel sick. My dentist appointment ended up getting pushed to Saturday so I decided to come back to Dragonhouse for a little bit. Although everyone was asleep by the time I got back (8am), it was such a nice feeling to be back and see the typical members in the house. I'm going to miss it again. =(.

It's crazy how two years can pass by so quickly. LB 2008 will always be a prominent memory in my mind with regards to CalDB and this LB was a great way to remember our 'dark' yet 'happy' days (not just because of the soju bottle being passed around..). I still remember going around and asking fellow teammates on how they felt the team could be improved in the following year and copying it down on the team notebook (for some reason, that page is ripped out though). I'm proud to say that we have once again moved our way on up.

Side note:

OMFG. KASKADE IS COMING TO SF. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

! Imagine how AMAZING it would be to listen to 4am and Angel on my Shoulder live. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH O_O

o_o

Copied from Vincent's blog

(12:24:35 AM) Jennifer Woo ._.

(12:26:00 AM) Andrew Yu LOLTHANKS

(12:26:11 AM) Andrew Yu YOURE SUCH A BLEEZ

(12:26:14 AM) Jennifer Woo lol

(12:26:20 AM) Jennifer Woo sorry

(12:26:23 AM) Andrew Yu of course this makes you think of me

(12:26:48 AM) Jennifer Woo hey i stumbled upon this article while studying for mcat ochem

(12:26:59 AM) Jennifer Woo so it doesn't make me feel much better either

(12:27:06 AM) Jennifer Woo i just felt the need to bring someone else down

(12:27:08 AM) Jennifer Woo lol not really

(12:27:09 AM) Jennifer Woo sort of.

And now I'm spreading it to all of you! yay.....!

The Dark Side of Perfectionism Revealed

By Rachael Rettner, LiveScience Staff Writer

posted: 11 July 2010 09:28 am ET

Perfectionists, by definition, strive for the best, trying to ace exams, be meticulous at their jobs, and raise perfect children. So one might assume this drive for the ideal translates over to their health as well, with perfectionist being models for physical and mental well-being.

But new research is revealing the trait can bring both profits and perils.

Though perfection is an impossible goal, striving for it can be a boon for one's health, causing one to stick to exercise programs to a tee, say, or follow a strict regimen for treating chronic illnesses like type 2 diabetes. But the same lofty goals can mean added mental pressure when mistakes are made and the resistance to asking for help from others in fear of revealing one's true, imperfect self.

In fact studies show the personality trait of perfectionism is linked to poor physical health and an increased risk of death.

Researchers are just beginning to tease apart this complex trait and its relation to health.

"Perfectionism is a virtue to be extolled definitely," said Prem Fry, a psychology professor at Trinity Western University in Canada. "But beyond a certain threshold, it backfires and becomes an impediment," she said. [Related: Perfectionists at Risk for Postpartum Depression]

Fry and several of her colleagues recently spoke at a symposium on perfectionism and health at the Association for Psychological Science convention in Boston.

What is perfectionism?

While some might aim to be perfect in certain areas of their life — such as an athlete who must stick to a grueling workout schedule — true perfectionism comes in a generalized form.

"You should want to be perfect across a variety of aspects of your life," said Gordon Flett, a psychology professor at York University in Canada.

"It's natural to be perfectionistic in the thing that matters the most, like your job — if you're a surgeon, there's no room for error," Flett said. "[But] you don’t want that same person to be going home and using those same standards to evaluate family members, which causes stress," he said. "It has to generalize."

Perfectionism tends to have two components: a positive side, including things like setting high standards for themselves; and a negative side, which involves more deleterious factors, such as having doubts and concerns over mistakes and feeling pressure from others to be perfect.

Some scientists have argued a subset of these high-achievers can be classified as "positive perfectionists," those who reap the benefits of perfectionism without falling victim to its ills. However, others say that while perfectionism might seem to be advantageous in certain situations, it always has a dark side that inevitably rears its head. For instance, a perfectionist might seem fine under normal circumstances, but lose control under stress.

While the existence of "positive perfectionists" is still debated, there's no doubt the trait can be quite counterproductive in some cases.

"That, in essence is the paradox of perfectionism, that certain people have extraordinarily high standards, but objectively can often look very dysfunctional in terms of their daily functioning, theirphysical health, their achievement," said Patricia DiBartolo, a psychology professor at Smith College, in Northampton, Mass. "They flunk out of college, and the reason why is they're so perfectionistic they can't actually achieve any goal; as you begin the process, it's just impossible."

Perfectionism and lifespan

Compared with the number of studies looking at perfectionism's impact on mental health, relatively few have examined the condition's toll on physical health. Some earlier work has linked the trait with various ailments, including migraines, chronic pain and asthma.

Fry and her colleagues recently looked at the relationship between perfectionism and overall risk of death. The study followed 450 adults aged 65 and older for 6.5 years. The participants completed an initial questionnaire to assess their level of perfectionism and other personality traits.

Those with high perfectionism scores, meaning they placed high expectations on themselves to be perfect, had a 51-percent increased risk of death compared to those with low scores.

The researchers suspect high levels of stress and anxiety, which are known to be linked with perfectionism, might contribute to the decrease in lifespan.

Next, they reasoned that if perfectionism showed this association in a normal population, it might have an even greater impact on those with a chronic disease, which would put their bodies under even more stress.

But after following 385 patients with type 2 diabetes for 6.5 years, the researchers actually saw the opposite effect. Those with high perfectionism scores had a 26-percent lower risk of death than those with low scores.

The results suggest that in certain situations, perfectionism can have advantages. With type 2 diabetes, scrupulous attention to blood sugar levels and strict adherence to dietary rules can have payoffs in terms of reducing disease severity, the researchers suspect.

"[Perfectionists] are very self-critical, they are not satisfied ever with their performance," Fry said.

"In this particular study on diabetes, those kinds of perfectionistic attitudes, normally we would regard them to be dysfunctional attitudes, but in the case of the diabetic sample, they turned out to be very positive traits," she said. "These individuals were highly self-critical, they worked harder than the average person to adhere to the instructions of the physician or the attending doctor in staying with all the do's and dont's of diabetic diet constraints."

"So they ended up taking better care of themselves through self-management than people who were sort of more easygoing and lax," she said.

Who expects perfection?

Some studies suggest the role of perfectionism on health might depend on who’s imposing the high standards.

In 2006, Danielle Molnar, of Brock University in Canada, examined the perfectionism-health link in nearly 500 Canadian adults between the ages of 24 and 35.

The study assessed participants for three different dimensions of perfectionism: self-oriented perfectionism, in which individuals impose high standards on themselves; socially prescribed perfectionism, where individuals feel others expect them to be perfect; and other-oriented, in which individuals place high standards on others.

People experience these perfectionist traits to varying degrees. One person might score high on all three, or they might fall into one extreme or another such as self-oriented perfectionism.

The researchers found socially prescribed perfectionism was associated with poorer physical health, which in this case meant individuals experienced more symptoms of health problems, had more doctors visits, took more days off work, and gave themselves low scores when asked to rate their health.

On the other hand, self-oriented perfectionism was associated with better physical health.

So what’s behind this relationship?

One factor could be the degree to which people feel happy or sad, known in psychology as positive or negative affect. The 2006 paper showed general negative feelings, including feeling anxious and upset, could partially explain the relationship they saw between socially prescribed perfectionism and poorer health. And feelings of happiness explained self-oriented perfection's link with better health.

However, the pathway that connects perfectionism to health is likely more complex.

For instance, in more recent research, Molnar found self-imposed perfectionism conferred pros and cons with regard to health that canceled each other out.

"On one hand it was related to higher levels of stress in students, which was related to lower levels of health," Molnar said. "On the other hand it had a protective factor, because it was also related to lower levels of high risk behavior," which includes things such as smoking and drinking.

"You really have to look at the mechanism, not just looking at how perfectionism is directly related to health, but what pathways link it to health?" Molnar said. "Unless you look at the mechanism, a lot of the time [the effect] washes itself out because it will have opposing relationships."

Other factors

Those who feel others expect them to be perfect might also experience declines in health as a result of distancing themselves from other people, and any support from friends and family.

"We know social support is a huge indicator of physical health. If you tend to have strong bonds with people, good family life, good friendships, you tend to be healthier," Molnar said. "And we know socially prescribed perfectionists, they tend to have this sense of disconnection with other people, so it would make sense that one of the ways they would experience poorer health is because of this sense of social disconnection from others."

Even if others reach out to help, socially prescribed perfectionists may view the kind actions as critical.

"Even when the levels of received support, so the support they're actually getting, is the same, there's been some work showing that perfectionists will actually appraise it differently," Molnar said. "They don’t see it as nurturing and supportive, but that people are being critical of them, and they're interfering, they're perceiving that people aren’t there for them," she said.

Other perfectionists might hold off on asking for help altogether, because they don't want to let on that there's anything wrong, or that they're imperfect in some way.

"If you have to ask someone for help, well that means you're flawed, that means you're weak, right? And so I think there's also that presentation of not wanting to seem like you need help from others," said Fuschia Sirois, of the University of Windsor in Canada.

Poor health could also be the result of perfectionists leaving little time to care for themselves, while spending every minute striving for perfection, Sirois said.

Future work

More work is needed to untangle the intricate relationship between perfectionism and health.

For instance, few studies have examined perfectionism in older adults, which might be due to the incorrect notion that perfectionism eases with age, Fry said.

"We've gone along with the misconception that if people are perfectionistic in their earlier stages of life, that in late life their perfectionism sort of automatically tapers off, but it doesn’t tapper off," she said.

Perfectionism in the elderly is of particular concern because, although they still have the same high expectations, they are unable to perform as well, which could ultimately lead to greater depression and anxiety, Fry said.

Researchers should also focus on understanding exactly why perfectionism is associated with poorer health or better health, depending on the situation.

"Without knowing the whys we can't intervene, we can't help these people," Molnar said. "These people are walking around with incredibly unrealistic expectations ... they're not just striving for excellence, they're striving for absolute perfection, which of course is impossible. So they're setting themselves up for more failure experiences," she said.

"We have to start understanding what's going on in the middle so how can we help these people."